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Showing posts from May, 2010

Inflation report

Hello everyone, Norma here! Seems a bit odd to be blogging on a Monday, but as everyone else is busy I said I'd do it. Well the good news is that operation 'fill the balloon' (a bit literal but needs must) seems to be proceeding. With a bit of luck we'll be able to get going by tomorrow. I can also report that Bertha has found several hoof sized holes in the top of the balloon which may have been how the air was escaping in the first place. Bertha has promised to stay in the basket once we're back up in the air! I think it's a bit of a shame that we're not going to be able to spend a bit more time with George. He's a nice man and I think that having other people around would do him some good for a while. But we must be getting on, Camille and her little students will be wondering where we've got to! Anyway, I do hope that you're having a nice time and remember, if you want it to be a good day, it's mainly up to you! Take care No

It's quicker by...

'Tin cans, hose, bits of tube, that sort of thing,' said Bertha. 'Right,' replied Horace. 'And then we can link them all together so that we can funnel the hot air from the machine to the balloon,' continued Bertha. 'OK,' replied Horace and then for a while he stood in silence and looked at the work that had already been done. 'It's going to be a bit tricky,' he said at last,'I think it might work better as a bit of prose.' 'Sorry?' asked Bertha. 'Well I'm just saying that I'm not sure that the subject really lends itself to poetry,' said Horace. 'But I'm not asking for a poem!' replied Bertha. 'But Norma said you wanted help?' said Horace. 'To make the tube!' replied Bertha,'I want you to have a look around and find some more cans and things.' Horace looked at Bertha and then looked at the rubbish around them. 'But I'd get dirty!' he said. And Bertha

And this is how you do it!

'So,' said George,'you put the stuff in.....somewhere and then you pull some buttons or press a lever or two or something like that and then all the snow comes out the top like!' 'Yes, yes!' replied Bertha,'I think we all get that but we can't fill the balloon full of snow.' 'Ah!' said George. 'Ah! Well that's where I've had an original think, cus if you don't put the.....what do you call it again?' 'The stuff?' suggested Bertha. 'Indeed!' replied George.'Have you used one of these things before?' But Bertha said she hadn't. 'Anyway, if you don't put the stuff in and then if you press this 'ere button, which is marked 'emergency hot air not that you're ever going to need it because you're trying to make snow but we thought we'd fit one anyway' then you'd have hot air coming out the top bit!' Bertha (and everyone else who was still there becaus

Home is where the cake is!

It's Thursday........... You've missed him........... (No you have, really, you just have to be honest with yourself about these things) IIIIITTTT'SSSS CYRILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!! Morning my fellow rumbly tum chums, This place is rubbish! I've not seen a hint of a restaurant since we landed.....or a sweet emporium...or a cake warehouse. I mean what sort of place doesn't have a least 3 cake warehouses with perhaps some sort of trifle annexe and a biscuit garden within its confines? I could quite easily have just wasted away to nothingness. But fear not! (and you were feared, I can tell these things, it's because you love me so) I've managed to make my way back to our little ship and am even now nibbling on a smidge of lemon and mango triple fruity special...and just in the nick of time! A couple more hours of this and all will be well. Until next time, Your Pal Sir Cyril of Cakevilleshire OBE with raisins and a cinnamon stick

The Whatchamacallit

'Well it's no wonder you couldn't remember where you'd left it!' said Captain Bill. 'Yes,' replied George,'it got itself hidden away good and proper but I tracked it down in the end!' Bertha, Norma, Captai...,well everybody, stood and looked at the machine that George had uncovered. 'What exactly is it?' asked Bertha as she herded closer to it. 'Well,' replied George,'it's one of them there, you know, things, like a whatchamacallit....a....' '......Jensens Mark IIIV Superior Snow Making Machine!' read out Bertha from a sign that was on the side of it. 'That's it!' said George with some relief. 'You could make an awful lot of snow with it!' said Norma. 'Yes,' replied George,'I hadn't thought of it before but I suppose you could.' 'And this is going to help us is it?' said Captain Bill. 'I was 'oping so,' replied George and he went on to explain

Piles of it!

'But surely,' complained Captain Bill,'we must have been up this one before?' 'No, no, no!' replied George,'no, no.................no...........maybe? Hang on!' And so everyone 'hung on' until George had a had a bit more of a think. 'This one's different!' he said at last. 'Really?' asked Captain Bill. 'Yer,' replied George,'this is where I keep the good stuff!' Captain Bill, Norma, Bertha and the others all had a good look at the large pile of 'stuff' that they were standing on.. 'I'm surprised we didn't work it out for ourselves!' said Captain Bill. 'Well that's because you've not been trained!' replied George,'you got to have your wits about you in this game. Now it'll be about 'ere somewhere.' 'Should we help look?' asked Bertha. 'No, no,' replied George,'your not trained for the looking, takes years it does, but it'

I told her so.....

Afternoon all! You heard me warn her! 3 days we've been wandering around this place....3 days waiting for our new found chum to remember where he put the thing that we might be able to use to help us inflate the balloon....only he can't even remember what the 'thing' is! I warned her! We've been up and down more piles of rubbish than Cyril's had hot cakes. She wouldn't listen! Clearly if this goes on much longer I shall have to take charge. I might not know my Port from my......whatever it is....but I can spot a person who needs to be avoided from a very long way out! And we've got a right one here! Have fun Captain Bill

Captain Bill scores a point!

'Hello!' said Norma. 'Whooooaaaoooo! What? Ha! Well, yes....'ello! It's all fine 'ere!' replied the man. 'Told you!' said Captain Bill with a smile, but Norma ignored him. 'I hope you don't mind us asking,' she continued, 'but do you live here?' 'Oh yes, yes.....yes, hmmmmm, yes, yes!' replied the man,'but sometimes,' he added,'sometimes I live......over there!' and with a trembling finger he pointed to an almost identical chair that stood a little way off. 'Well he's straight into my top ten!' said Captain Bill. But Norma just gave Captain Bill a little kick. 'Could I just ask,' said Bertha,'is this a ship or an island?' 'Ah!' said the man,'welllllllll........yes.........I think it sort of started off, many years ago, as a ship.....but things have sort of added themselves.' 'Added themselves?' questioned Norma. 'Hmmmm,' replied the man

The view from above

'And now,' said Captain Bill,'for your enjoyment, on the piano!' 'Thank you so much!' replied Norma. 'Can you see anyone?' asked Bertha. 'Not at the moment,' replied Norma. And for a while everyone was silent while Norma did more looking. 'I don't understand why you want to find someone anyway,' said Captain Bill eventually,'they'll only be weird!' 'Because there must be somebody in charge!' replied Bertha. 'And they might be able to help us,' added Norma. 'They'll be weird!' repeated Captain Bill,'they always are!' 'That's a bit unfair!' replied Norma. 'True though!' said Captain Bill. 'Ah!' said Norma,'I think I've spotted someone!' And so Bertha helped Norma to get down off the piano and they all headed off towards the 'someone'. 'Weird!' said Captain Bill as they herded along. 'Not weir

poor customer services?

'Well I think it's a nice shop!' mooed Annie,'they certainly do a very good range of hats!' 'They could do with some signs though,' said Horace,'I suspect it may take a long time to locate the poetry department....if they even have one?' 'At least we're not in the basement for once,' replied Annie and everyone agreed that that was a good thing. 'Seem a bit short of staff as well,' muttered Cyril a little while later. 'Perhaps somebody bought them?' replied Annie. 'Do people actually do that?' questioned Horace. 'All the time!' replied Annie. 'Has anybody seen any sort of food?' asked Cyril,'restaurant, snack bar, vending machine.......big notice saying 'free nibbles, all you can eat''. But the others said they hadn't. 'Wait a moment!' said Horace,'is that someone calling?' 'No, that was my stomachs,' replied Cyril,'that's why I was ask

Landed!

'Come back!' called out Captain Bill. 'Pardon?' said Norma. 'I said come back,' repeated Captain Bill,'look at the state of the place, we'll get the blame!' 'But I think it was like this before we landed,' replied Norma. 'It most certainly was!' mooed Bertha,'that's why I couldn't work out what it all was. The whole place wants a thorough clean and tidy!' 'It certainly is a strange place,' added Norma. Captain Bill took a long look to left and right and then gingerly climbed out of the Mootilus. 'Just be careful where you put your hooves,' warned Norma and Captain Bill assured her that he would. 'Where are the others? he asked as he picked his way across a particularly difficult bit. 'They've gone on ahead,' replied Norma,'I've told Cyril to keep an eye on the other two.' 'Well with a bit of luck he won't sell them to the first person he meets then!'

A drop in the ocean

'We're falling fast!' mooed Norma. 'Right,' said Captain Bill,'.......and we want to avoid that?' 'Of course!' replied Norma. 'OK!' said Captain Bill.'Right......right....decisive action needed....Horace....write us a poem, something heroic, they did their best, wonderful death etc, etc...but keep it short!' And Horace started scribbling. 'What else?' asked Captain Bill. 'Well I don't think we'll actually die!' replied Norma. 'Oh!' said Captain Bill,'should I cancel the poem?' 'I've started now!' called out Horace. 'I just think we should all try to brace for the impact,' said Norma. But just before they got around to doing that... 'Ship aho.....well? I think it's a ship? It's more a sort of ship island....sort of!' called out Bertha from above. 'Well is it a ship or an island?' asked Captain Bill. But just for once in her life Bertha coul

The proper thing to do on an afternoon

'Now who still needs a slice?' asked Norma. And Cyril raised a hoof. Norma looked at Cyril and then pointed to the slice that was in front of him and the other that was balanced on his head. 'But I still NEED another!' said Cyril with a smile. 'Could I have a refill on my cup?' asked Captain Bill and he pushed it along towards Norma. Norma refilled it and pushed it back. 'Why's my cake got no icing?' mooed Horace. And Norma looked at Cyril. 'It could have been anyone!' said Cyril...with a smile. 'Mine had icing!' called down Bertha,'and it was very nice!' 'Thank you!' replied Norma. 'Norma,' said Annie, who was leaning over the side of the Mootilus,'I think Mr Wibbly Wobbly Water must be hungry!' 'Why's that?' asked Norma. 'Because he's coming up to meet us!' replied Annie. Norma, Captain Bill, Cyril and Horace joined Annie in looking over the side of the ship. '

To a lost pencil...

LOST AND FOUND Now I am floating Way up here My pencil's falling Way down there It tumbles through The cold blue air It falls Without A sound Perhaps it lands Upon a beach By some Twisty river reach And there you'll walk In perfect peace A looking At The ground And you will find What I have lost And write of love And what it cost And how it sets you Thinking of How we two Now Are bound Thank you Horace

X marks the spot!

'Hang on!' mooed Norma,'I'll move it across a bit so you can see.' So she did...and Captain Bill looked closely at the roll of paper that Norma had draped over the edge of the Mootilus. 'And this is what Camille sent?' asked Captain Bill. 'Sort of,' replied Norma,'it was more a set of instructions, but I thought it would be better to have a map.' 'There's not much on it!' said Captain Bill. 'That's because we've only just started!' replied Norma,'look, up here is Cow Island...and then down in this corner is where we need to go to and then we just fill in the bits in between as we go along.' 'Right,' said Captain Bill,'so what have you put on so far?' 'Well,' replied Norma, pointing to a bit near the top,'that's where Horace dropped his pencil and then that's where you felt a bit sick and then that's where Horace and Cyril had an argument and that's wh

Not what I expected!

Morning all! Do try to sit up straight when you're reading this. I thought that being a lookout on a balloon would be the same as on a ship. Wrong! For a start off you can't see much more than the rest of the crew because the balloon gets in the way. Also you can't see much of the crew, which is reducing my shouting opportunities no end! But there are some positive points. You don't actually have to sit in the basket because the balloon supports you, so I'm having a very comfy time. And being up this high means that you can get a pretty good tan! So I'm passing the time by relaxing and having a few drinks. If the whole journey goes like this I think I could get used to it! Take care and try to do 3 useful things every day. Bertha

On a clear day....

'What's that then?' asked Annie. 'That's an island,' replied Norma. 'Oooooooh!' said Annie,'.....and what's that then?' 'That's a ship,' replied Norma. 'Ooooooooooh! said Annie,'..............and what's that then?' 'I think,' replied Norma,'that that's one of Horace's pencils!' 'Ooooooooooooooooh!' said Annie,'it's getting smaller!' 'Excuse me!' called out Horace,'excuse me, could we just stop for a moment?' 'STOP!' mooed Captain Bill. 'Yes,' replied Horace,'just for a moment. Only I was writing a poem and Cyril jogged my hoof...' 'Didn't!' mooed Cyril. '...and Cyril jogged my hoof,' repeated Horace,'and I dropped my pencil.' 'But you've got lots of others!' said Norma. 'But I liked that one,' replied Horace. 'I know what to do!' said Annie,'COOOOOEEEEEEEEEE! Mr

From your on the spot reporter!

Hello everyone! So far, so good! Well we're still in the air and nobody, including Annie, has fallen out yet. It's actually rather nice being up here, it doesn't move about in the same way as a boat, so if you close your eyes you could almost be back on the ground. I think this might be helping Captain Bill. I've also told him not to look over the side....and maybe keep his eyes closed as much as possible. He said that he tried to do that anyway, even on land! Apart from that I've been trying to work out which way we're going....but there aren't many reference points...or signs on small balloons, which even I had expected. So we'll just have to keep our horns crossed. Well that's all from me for the moment. If you do see us floating over you feel free to pop up for a quick cup of tea and a slice of cake. Hugs and hugs Norma

Up, up and awwwaaaaayyyyyyyy!

'Are we too high? I think we might be too high! I wouldn't want us to go too high! Do you think we're too high?'......said Captain Bill. 'But we've only just taken off,' replied Norma. 'We've got to go a lot higher than this!' 'Really?' said Captain Bill,'...........I'm not sure I can approve of that. Do you think we're too high?' 'Look,' said Norma,'Camille's letter made it very clear that we need to get up high.' 'Hmmmm,' said Captain Bill,'I don't see why that should be true....unless that's where they put the road signs? They can be very odd sometimes, these foreign types!' 'I think it just makes us go faster,' replied Norma,'but I really don't know for sure, I'm not an expert in these matters!' 'Well I still think we're too high!' said Captain Bill. But Norma didn't bother replying. 'Can I do the ants joke?' asked

Something Familiar

Norma and Captain Bill stood and waited in the warm spring sunshine 'And you will take care of yourself?' said Norma, for the umpteenth time. 'Yes, of course,'replied Captain Bill,'I'll be fine! No problems here!' 'Well I'll send you a postcard as soon as we arrive.' 'Excellent!' replied Captain Bill,'I'll look forward to it.' 'I can't think where Bertha's got to?' said Norma after a while. But at that very moment Bertha herded towards them carrying something familiar. 'That's my hat!' mooed Captain Bill. 'I know!' gasped Bertha. 'But I threw it away!' 'I know!' replied Bertha. Norma looked at Captain Bill. 'Perhaps you could try it on?' she suggested. 'I'm...I'm not sure I want to!' replied Captain Bill. Bertha herded closer to Captain Bill...very close...very, very close. 'Look Mister!' she began,'if you think I've just

Where to put it all?

'Oh, that looks interesting!' said Norma. 'It's an old dandelion brandy,' replied Cyril,'I thought it might be worth taking.' 'I'm sure it will be,' replied Norma,'and all of this is just for the journey?' 'That's right,' replied Cyril,'I believe the main selection has already been loaded.' 'OK,' said Norma,'well I may have to take the bottles out of the case. I think it might be easier to fit them around the third group of emergency travelling fruit cakes. Just leave it with me and I'll sort it out the best I can.' 'Excellent,' replied Cyril,'....has anybody done a quality check on the cakes?' 'They'll be fine!' mooed Norma. 'Next please!' And Horace trotted forward. 'It's just this,' he said and passed over a satchel full of different papers and pencils and a small roll of parchment. 'Right oh!' said Norma,'I'll try to ma

No need to worry!

Morning all, just popping by to clear up a few things. I'll be fine on my own, I know Norma worries but I'll be fine. I'm quite looking forward to it really. No life or death high pressure decisions, no being shouted at all the time.... no trying to remember port from starboliarboliboard....or whatever it's called these days? Also I'd like to take the opportunity to remind you that the rope museum will be open as normal, so if you happen to be passing and feel like spending a day a one of the most exciting venues around, then I'll be here! I'm going to be doing afternoon teas as well, although my cake making isn't quite up to the standard of the ladies. The tea however will be excellent! Finally a message from Norma who says that they've started the 'sewing up'? Your guess is as good as mine...or possibly better! Right, things to do Captain Bill

But what shall we do about Bill?

'But it just seems so sad,' mooed Norma,'I'm know he'd like to go really and I'm sure he'd enjoy it!' Bertha looked at Norma. 'Well he'd enjoy it in his own way!' added Norma. 'Quite possibly,' replied Bertha,'but it's up to him to decide and as has been pointed out we don't actually need a captain if we're travelling like this.' 'But he'll be all on his own!' said Norma,'and Camille and her little students will miss him if he's not there.' Bertha didn't bother to reply, instead she just tapped on the end of the spirit level and peered at the little bubble. 'Could you take the weight?' she asked Norma,'I think I'll have to shave a bit more off the end of this.' And Norma said she could. 'Have you measured twice?' she asked. And Bertha said she had. 'I'm sure he wants to come really!' said Norma as they lowered it down to the ground. An

Knitty Stringy Stuff...Please Send!

Hellloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! We're knitting a 'thing'....for more information we're knitting a big 'thing'....which means that we need lots and lots... ...and lots... of knitty stringy stuff. I was just wondering if you might have a bit to spare? Perhaps a couple of tons fell behind the sofa and you've never bothered to rescue it....maybe you live next door to a knitty stringy factory and just happen to have a secret but rarely used tunnel which comes up just below the store room? If so and if you wouldn't mind popping down said secret tunnel and possibly risking a hefty prison sentence....could you send it on to 'Annie, I'm sure you know her, everybody does, she lives on an surrounded by wobbly water island' and I'll be happy to sign for it. Many thanks Take care Annie

Make room!

'And she's quite sure that she can fit into it?' asked Captain Bill. 'She's says she'll manage,' replied Norma,'and you know Bertha, she tends to manage.' 'True,' said Captain Bill. 'And it might be best not to mention anything about size,' added Norma. 'Very true!,' said Captain Bill. 'And I've said that I'll help her make the changes to the Mootilus,' continued Norma,'which does only leave Annie and the shrimps doing the knitting but they'll cope. 'Right!' said Captain Bill. 'So all in all it's not coming along too badly,' said Norma,'we should be ready to go by the end of next week. I know it's going to be a little cramped but it'll work.' 'Actually,' said Captain Bill,'I've been thinking about that. I've come up with an idea that'll give everyone a bit more room and save on the storage space.' 'Brilliant!' mooed Nor