Cow Island

Norma herded gently down the slope; the soft Spring grass warm beneath her hooves. The clouds above her drifted gently by, then stopped, had a good look at Cow Island and decided it was best to drift on. A butterfly called Lionel rested lazily upon her tail hat. 'Hello,' she said. 'Mwello,' Captain Bill replied, because he had something in his mouth. 'It arrived then?' Captain Bill proffered the something in his mouth. Norma took it and read out aloud. 'From The Small Island Supply Company. Please find attached 1 sack, contents as agreed.' 'There could be some real gems in here,' said Captain Bill. Norma peered over Captain Bill's horns. 'So you really have spent money on old rope?' she asked. 'It's not just rope,' Captain Bill replied. 'There's string and cord and twine! All museum quality.' 'It must be difficult to contain your excitement?' Norma suggested. Captain Bill nodded....

'Chickens.......Turkeys........Ducks, they can all be connected up to some sort of external power source,' explained Cyril. 'Oh, I never knew,' replied Horace. 'So when Geraldine's finished reading through the brochure have a look yourself and let me know how much you want to invest.' 'I don't really have much spare at the moment. I was thinking about buying some new poetry writing paper.' 'But it would be foolish to miss out,' said Cyril. 'Perhaps I'll think about it after I've recovered.' 'Well,' replied Cyril, 'limited places! I suppose I could make an exception?' 'That's kind,' said Horace, 'and thank you for this as well. Falling off the cliff hurt me more than I first thought.' 'I always seem to survive quite easily,' mooed Annie. 'You're used to it!' said Cyril. 'The trick is to try to avoid the big pointy rocks at the bottom,' a...

'But One was perfectly alright!' explained Queen Phoebe. 'Er?' replied Norma. 'One was disguised and everything.' 'It's just...' said Norma, 'we were worried about you, that's all.' 'Most kind I'm sure,' replied Queen Phoebe, 'but One don't spend years being a royal personage without learning how to look after One.' 'Possibly,' said Norma, 'but we do feel sort of responsible for you. 'No need!' 'And what would King Otto think if he knew you were wandering about a pirate jamboree?' 'He'd say, smile, smile my dear and be regal and if they get too close punch 'em on the nose!' 'Really?' asked Norma. 'Indeed!' replied Queen Phoebe. 'He's full of useful advice like that. It's why everyone loves 'im so.' 'Still,' said Norma, 'think of how it would look if it got in the press, 'Queenie brawls with pirat...

'It's their little noses!' continued Captain Bill. 'I just love they way they twitch them!' 'Actually I think they're a bit sensitive about that,' replied Norma. 'I'd avoid the whole general cuteness thing if I were you.' 'But they are cute!' exclaimed Captain Bill. 'Really I don't know why you were so worried about meeting them!' 'ME!' mooed Norma. 'You get this pirate thing out of proportion sometimes,' added Captain Bill. 'Really?' replied Norma. 'I have to say I never imagined that they'd be into pirating.' 'If I'm understanding Geraldine properly they're mostly into sub-contracting these days. They tend to take on the...well...small jobs, watching harbours, mending sails, deep penetration nocturnal covert surveillance...that sort of thing.' 'Interesting!' said Captain Bill. 'And apparently running with pointy spines is still OK with t...

'Now Annie says she only needs one but I think we should have a back up?' 'Agreed,' replied Bertha, 'there's little enough margin for error as it is!' 'It'll mean a lot more work though,' added Norma. 'And it might be tricky to source such a large quantity of needles,' replied Bertha. 'That's where Cyril comes in,' panted Norma. 'Thought it would be!' replied Bertha, 'and I suppose it'll be best not to ask where he'll get them from?' 'In this instance I wasn't going to,' said Norma. 'And the knitting rota?' 'Already drawn up,' replied Norma, 'but we'll need all hooves on deck to get it completed.' 'And does Annie want it to rotate clockwise or counter clockwise?' 'She says it's not important as long as the wind speed is below 10mph,' replied Norma, 'it's the vertical drop speed that's important.' Bertha ...

'....and that's when I told her it was a meeting of the highest level,' concluded Norma. 'And we can't be sued over that?' queried Captain Bill. 'I mean legally there's no actual definition of 'highest level'?' 'But it is!' replied Norma. 'There's the 3 of us and a penguin!' said Captain Bill. 'It's the quality that counts,' mooed Norma. 'There's the 3 of us and a penguin!' repeated Captain Bill. 'Are you saying I'm not high quality?' asked Bertha. 'Shall we move on?' suggested Norma. 'We still have to deal with the basic problem. How do we track down Flossie and his hoard of despicable pirate henchsheep?' Captain Bill looked nervous. 'Define hoard?' he asked. 'I don't know,' replied Norma. '50 perhaps?' '50!!!' exclaimed Captain Bill. 'Roughly speaking,' replied Norma. 'And I bet rough would...

'But as health and safety courses go it was really interesting,' continued Lefty. 'Well glad I sent you on it then!' replied Flossie, 'and the posters?' 'Mostly about running with swords. I'm afraid they've tightened things up again!' At this moment Hooky tapped several times on the grass. 'Well,' replied Lefty, 'it now covers swords, daggers, forks including cake forks and skewers.' 'Doesn't leave a lot!' said Flossie dispiritedly. 'I had a word with mum,' replied Lefty, 'she's got some long handled spoons in a draw somewhere.' 'Not the same though is it!' said Flossie. 'Boarding an enemy vessel, swinging across on a rope with a long handled spoon clenched between your gnashers.' 'Ah!' said Lefty. 'Glad you mentioned that. Rope's out!' 'Out!' bleated Flossie. 'Out!' confirmed Lefty. 'From now on boarding can only be car...

'Adventure?' mooed Captain Bill,'why do we have to start referring to it as an adventure?' 'Oh! It's definitely an adventure!' replied Bertha. 'Definitely!' agreed Norma. 'Just because Ms Camille's a bit late?' Bertha and Norma said that that was enough. 'Couldn't she just have got the dates mixed up?' asked Captain Bill. Bertha and Norma looked at each other and then at Captain Bill. 'Well it's possible!' said Captain Bill. 'Not....a......chance!' replied Norma. 'We know an adventure when we see one!' added Bertha. 'So what do you propose that we do now that we're 'in an adventure'?' asked Captain Bill. 'Gather intelligence,' replied Bertha. 'We've already sent out two top undercover agents,' said Norma. 'Top?' questioned Captain Bill. And even Norma was forced to concede that that was pushing it a bit.

Hello everyone! So far, so good! Well we're still in the air and nobody, including Annie, has fallen out yet. It's actually rather nice being up here, it doesn't move about in the same way as a boat, so if you close your eyes you could almost be back on the ground. I think this might be helping Captain Bill. I've also told him not to look over the side....and maybe keep his eyes closed as much as possible. He said that he tried to do that anyway, even on land! Apart from that I've been trying to work out which way we're going....but there aren't many reference points...or signs on small balloons, which even I had expected. So we'll just have to keep our horns crossed. Well that's all from me for the moment. If you do see us floating over you feel free to pop up for a quick cup of tea and a slice of cake. Hugs and hugs Norma

Norma and Captain Bill stood and waited in the warm spring sunshine 'And you will take care of yourself?' said Norma, for the umpteenth time. 'Yes, of course,'replied Captain Bill,'I'll be fine! No problems here!' 'Well I'll send you a postcard as soon as we arrive.' 'Excellent!' replied Captain Bill,'I'll look forward to it.' 'I can't think where Bertha's got to?' said Norma after a while. But at that very moment Bertha herded towards them carrying something familiar. 'That's my hat!' mooed Captain Bill. 'I know!' gasped Bertha. 'But I threw it away!' 'I know!' replied Bertha. Norma looked at Captain Bill. 'Perhaps you could try it on?' she suggested. 'I'm...I'm not sure I want to!' replied Captain Bill. Bertha herded closer to Captain Bill...very close...very, very close. 'Look Mister!' she began,'if you think I've just ...

'Well if he'd just let me get to the end of what I was saying!' said Bertha. 'I know you didn't mean it,' replied Norma, 'I think he was just having one of his down moments and....well sometimes, perhaps you could give a bit more thought to what you're going to say? But 'Hmm!' was all the reply that Bertha made and so for a while they walked on in silence until finally, with one last twist in the path, they found themselves standing at the top of the very tall thing, looking down at the other side. 'There!' said Bertha and she pointed off into the distance. 'It's a town!' mooed Norma excitedly and indeed it was. A town with houses and shops and a harbour and off towards one edge of it, lots and lots of brightly coloured flags which fluttered in the breeze. 'It looks lovely!' added Norma and she waved her tail hat in celebration. It wasn't long before Annie and Horace and Captain Bill joined them and everyone agreed...

Helloo* Annie here! Now I am sometimes accused (by Bertha.......and Captain Bill) of not knowing what's going on. Could I just say, that at the moment, I'm willing to plead guilty! It seems to me that so far, we've parked Mr Ship, gone for a walk and then decided to climb a tall thing....so what's that all about then? I mean Mr Ship is probably quite happy having a paddle but what about the rest of us? Also, to make matters even more confusamable, my chum and legal advisor Mr Sir Cyril of Coolness has gone somewhere else!!! This is a bad thing because, 1. He gives me the giggles. 2. He always has at least 3 large cakes about his person and right now I could do with at least half a sponge. Please supply answers to my questions and cake if you have any. Thank you Annie *regular readers will note the distinct lack of 'o's. I think this is because being on a tall thing they have all rolled to the bottom.