Cow Island

'Is this all there is then?' asked Captain Bill. 'I told you before,' replied Norma,'the others have gone to find a new mast.' 'Er?' said Captain Bill 'The tall stick thing that holds the sail up,' replied Norma. 'Right,' said Captain Bill,'....and we have to have one of those?' 'We can't sail the ship without it!' mooed Norma. 'OK,' said Captain Bill. And for a while they stood in silence and watched the two men who were rowing towards them. 'Still,' said Captain Bill at last,'it's not much of a welcoming committee. The Captain's School Handbook clearly states that senior officers are to be piped ashore by a qualified individual using a bosun's whistle... and what do we have? A truly bizarre person wrapped in cotton wool strumming a banjo! I wouldn't be surprised if they took off half a point before they even get out the boat!' 'I heard that!' said Annie, who then herded...

Really? Well, well, well... and do they actually rotate in the water? Really?! Well, well, well, it never even occurred to me but now you point it out I can see that it must have its advantages and I suppose if the odd fish gets impaled on the end it's just a bonus! Sorry? No, well maybe a bit later on, I prefer to take a dip towards the end of the day but thanks for the offer. It's seldom that one meets young ladies who are so willing to help out. Hmm? Oh, it's nothing really, you keep it, it was only an old hat... must be at least two weeks since I bought it and it looks so good there... up the end of your pole. And that one, no the one to the left of it... well in between that one and the big one on the right... the one shaped a bit like a giraffe playing a banjo. Really! Well I never thought that scars could be so interesting a subject. One could spend all day talking about them - especially when you've got as many as you have. No, you'd need to ask one of my la...