Cow Island

'....Boarding ships, swinging on ropes, duelling to the death,' replied Cyril, 'at least that's what it says on the posters.' 'No mention of cake then?' asked Annie. 'Or ice creams,' replied Cyril. 'I shall probably not become one then,' said Annie. 'Smart move!' said Cyril. 'By the way, have you seen the other ice creams? They still don't seem to have arrived!' 'I haven't seen anything for a while.' replied Annie. 'So you haven't!' said Cyril. 'I suppose it must be because the days are getting shorter now?' 'Possibly a factor,' agreed Cyril. But then he reached over and removed what was left of the inflatable ring from Annie's head. 'Oooooooh!' mooed Annie. 'Morning already!' 'Must be time for breakfasts then,' suggested Cyril. 'How many?' asked Annie. 'To tell the truth,' replied Cyril, 'those ice creams ha...

'I see we're going Not North again,' said Norma. 'Are we?' said Captain Bill. 'Mmm,' said Norma. 'Well hardly surprising,' said Captain Bill, 'it's a very popular direction.' 'So,' asked Norma, 'any ideas why?' 'Errr?' said Captain Bill, 'Geraldine changed her mind?' 'No,' replied Norma, 'Annie doesn't seem to think so.' 'But she could be wrong. As she said herself, tricky thing to understand the old penguin talk.' 'Possibly,' replied Norma, 'but my money's on an alternative explanation.' 'I know what you're thinking,' said Captain Bill. 'Really?' said Norma. 'Oh yes!' replied Captain Bill. 'You're thinking that the Pickled Heifer must have instinctively turned itself towards Not North.' 'And that's the best you can manage is it?' asked Norma. 'That's a rather sarcastic tone,' said Captain Bill, ...

'So it's sort of a very late Christmas present,' said Norma. 'It's wonderful!' replied Captain Bill. 'Well I didn't think we could ask you to go sailing in the Pickled Heifer without a new knitted compass.' 'It's a vital piece of every Captains kit,' replied Captain Bill. 'And I've put on 3 Not Norths,' said Norma, 'and I've left off all the other directions.' 'Never really needed them,' said Captain Bill. 'But I do agree with Bertha that as we're doing this for Geraldine it should be up to her to decide which way we're going.' 'Fine,' said Captain Bill, 'although we could start off by going a bit Not North just to help her get her bearings.' 'Unless she already has her bearings,' said Norma. 'Only be for a day or two,' replied Captain Bill, 'a week at the most...probably have got there by then anyway.' And Norma sighed.

'But you gave the sign,' said Bertha. 'We hadn't agreed on a sign!' gasped Captain Bill. 'Cyril and I had,' replied Bertha. 'You could have told me!' said Captain Bill. Bertha thought about this. 'That would have taken a lot of the fun out of it,' she replied. Cyril nodded in agreement. 'And that was the reason for sending me out there was it?' asked Captain Bill, 'so you two could have fun!' 'Well it was mostly so we could get the Mootilus back,' replied Bertha, 'but it was nice to have a bit of fun at the same time.' 'Speaking for myself,' said Cyril, 'I'd say it was more about the fun.' 'Really?' said Bertha. 'Mmm,' replied Cyril, 'I'd say, roughly speaking, 85-90% fun, 10% general helping.' 'It's interesting isn't it,' said Bertha, 'how people can work side by side on the same project and yet have totally different motives.' 'I co...

'Careful!' called out Cyril,'I almost spilt my drink!' 'Sorry,' replied Horace,'but you don't think perhaps you could lend a hoof for a while?' 'But you're forgetting I already have,' said Cyril. Horace looked puzzled. 'I supplied the wheels,' said Cyril,'I mean think how much more trouble it would be hauling the boat along if it wasn't on wheels!' Horace agreed that this was true. 'But if you got out of it it would be easier still,' he added. Cyril looked over the edge of the Mootilus and considered Horace's request. 'So you want me to walk?' he asked. 'Erm, I suppose so,' replied Horace,'it wouldn't be far.' Cyril thought a bit more. 'That would mean moving my legs' he pointed out,'I could end up losing weight!'. 'Oh yes!' replied Horace,'I hadn't thought of that!' So Horace went on pulling the Mootilus and Cyril very kindly gave...