Cow Island

'But surely even you have to concede that it's a coincidence too far?' Norma said. 'I've given you my opinion,' Captain Bill replied. 'But honestly,' Norma continued, 'a brand new chain of holiday islands and one of them just happens to have a pier....with a helter skelter on it!' 'It's perfectly possible that they could have decided to build one of their own.' 'Well, everyone else thinks there must be a link.' Captain Bill pointed to his Captain's hat. '...........................Even Captains can be wrong sometimes,' Norma ventured. 'But not this time,' Captain Bill mooed, 'AND I have proof!' 'Really?' Norma asked. 'Your problem is you don't think things through, none of you do,' Captain Bill replied. 'You see an advert for some holiday islands with a pier and a helter skelter and you leap to conclusions. You just let your imaginations run away with you...

'Then I knocked it off again and jumped up and down on it,' Bertha replied. 'Hmm, hardly you at your most constructive,' said Norma. Bertha shrugged her horns. 'I'd like to think it had a certain educational value.' she mooed. 'We should still make the effort to show him some respect.' 'If I had some for him I would,' said Bertha. 'Well, I've apologised to Camille about the towels and I've had a word with Cyril and Annie about behaviour in general.' 'I doubt it'll make any difference,' Bertha replied. 'I'll keep hoping,' said Norma. 'It's a very nice ship. I'd like to believe that it still will be by the time we leave it. All we need to do is treat it with respect.' 'That would be a first,' Bertha replied. 'But you're right about it being a nice ship, it feels very well balanced. I doubt it's very old.' 'They've only had it for six mon...

'Which is why,' Captain Bill explained, 'the correct thing to do is always to steer 'Not North,' and he pointed to 'Not North' on his knitted compass so that Camille's little students could pick it out. 'No, it isn't!' said Bertha. 'Ignore her,' Captain Bill suggested. '...................It is!' 'No, it isn't!' said Bertha. 'It is!' Captain Bill replied. 'It isn't!' '..........................................................Is!' 'Isn't! 'Is!' 'ISN'T!' 'As a highly experienced and respected captain,' Captain Bill began. 'HA!' said Bertha. 'Really,' Camille interrupted, 'this is most educational. Not only are ma little students getting a lesson in navigation, they are also getting a thorough grounding in mindless petty squabbling. A vital skill which will be a reoccurring aspect of their adult lives if I am...