Cow Island

'So correct me if I'm wrong, which clearly I can't be, but when you said 'just give me the needles, any fool can knit,' were you perhaps a tad overconfident?' 'I still maintain,' replied Captain Bill, 'if you had given me the pattern the right way up!' 'So it is my fault!' mooed Bertha. 'I'm not saying it was deliberate,' replied Captain Bill. 'If I were you I'd be very careful what I was saying,' said Bertha. 'It's just that as a result of your...............slight error,' replied Captain Bill, 'I clearly ended up with my port needle in my starboliarboliboard hoof.' 'I'd hate to think where it might eventually end up!' said Bertha. 'And so,' continued Captain Bill, 'there may be one or two minor deviations from the intended objective for which I clearly cannot be held responsible.' Hmm,' pondered Bertha, 'well that could make two of us who ...

'Well I really do think you aught to be there,' said Norma. 'I'm sure you'll manage without me,' replied Captain Bill. 'But everyone else in coming,' continued Norma, 'even Cyril!' 'Whoppee!'  'He wants to know if you'd like to buy a fridge?' 'Not at the moment thank you.' 'Anyway, we do need to discuss what we're going to do about helping Queen Phoebe,' added Norma. 'We already had a meeting about that last year,' remarked Captain Bill. 'IS HE COMING?' called out Bertha. 'Does she have to shout?' said Captain Bill. 'It's just her way,' replied Norma......'You're stuck again aren't you?' 'I am not stuck again!' replied Captain Bill. 'IS HE STUCK AGAIN?' called out Bertha. 'Why did you lay down in a hedge anyway?' asked Norma. 'It just seemed like the right thing to do at the time,' replied Cap...

'WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DIDN'T ASK!' said Bertha, very loudly. 'Well what chance did I have?' mooed Captain Bill in reply. 'You saw her, the moment she'd handed over the scroll she was off back down the hill faster than Cyril can eat! Her little legs hardly touched the ground! Just a blur of pink and gold she was...how she kept her crown on I'll never know!' 'You could have run after her!' said Bertha, who was standing very close to Captain Bill. 'No I couldn't,' he replied, '.....it would have been undignified and besides it would have contravened the first rule of Captain School!' 'Which is?' asked Bertha, who had a good feeling that she knew what was coming. 'Never, ever ask for directions!' said Captain Bill with a flourish. 'SO HOW,' screamed Bertha, 'DO YOU PROPOSE THAT WE FIND NORMAN!!!!!!!' 'Well, I thought we might just sail...' '...ABOUT FOR A BIT!!!!' completed Bert...