Cow Island

Good morning everyone!  Now it's been a very long time since we had a chat but that's no excuse for allowing bad posture to creep in, so do sit up straight! How are you? Unlike some people I really am interested. Have you managed to do any studying? A course or two perhaps? Push the boundaries and never be afraid to fail! Now I'm reading the book on sculpture first, if I try knitting while my lovely captain is getting us underway I'll drop too many stitches. You might notice a few changes, I think the plants soften things up a little and the hat keeps the sun off as there's no shade at all up here. As for leaving the harbour, for those of you familiar with our escapades you might expect me to report that we've been going around in circles for the last few hours but interestingly I can report that we've also achieved several ovals, a square and a rhomboid! We've not actually hit anything as long as you don't include glancing blows and Ann...

'But it's a higher tariff,' explained Bertha, 'because it's quite a tricky dive.' 'Is this going to go on for much longer?' asked Captain Bill. 'Oh don't be such a spoil sport!' replied Norma. So Geraldine did her dive and everyone applauded. 'I have to say she looks very at home in the water,' added Norma. 'She's a penguin!' exclaimed Captain Bill. 'Of course she's going to look at home in the water! She's a penguin, it's where they live!' 'Just saying,' replied Norma. 'This is ridiculous!' continued Captain Bill. 'We've only been here for half an hour,' said Bertha. 'And for how long are we required to remain?' asked Captain Bill, 'or didn't Ms Nutter specify?' 'You're only saying that...' called out Annie but the rest of her words were drowned out by Geraldine taking another dive. 'It's almost as if she were ...

'But you do like her?' asked Captain Bill. 'Well...' began Horace. 'Look we all know very well that you do!' said Bertha. Horace glanced down at his hoofs. 'It's just.......difficult,' he said. 'Which is where we stampede in!' said Captain Bill. 'I'm not sure....' 'It'll be fine,' said Captain Bill. 'But...' 'It's going to be a meal for two,' continued Captain Bill. 'Cyril's doing the cooking, Annie to assist. Bertha's going to arrange the table, candles, cutlery, etc, etc and I'm in a sort of supervisory role. What could possibly go wrong?' 'Errrrr?' said Horace. 'And Geraldine's going to serve, 'added Cyril. 'It'll save on hiring a uniform.' 'Although we may still get her a hat,' added Captain Bill, 'depends on what the organising sub-committee think.' 'Organising sub-committee!' mooed Horace. And Annie did a little dance ...

You love him! You've missed him! But now he's back with even more for you to cuddle.... IIIIIITTTTT'SSSSSSSSSSSSSSS CYRILLLLLLLLL! Morning mon petite chumlettes, I stand before you today (and quite possibly to the sides as well) in my role as Squire Cyril of the Vine. Yes, the little green shoots of nibbleness have once more put forth their Spring leaves and started the slow and steady climb up my poles! (I'll do the jokes) Now it's been known for some time, there's no point in trying to keep it quiet, that the old grass vines respond well to a little musical encouragement. So to help them along I've been playing a few bars (and I've plenty of experience of bars). For those of you with your own vines, here's my top tips... 1. For a good strong red it's got to be jazz funk with a bit of blues for a fuller rounder flavour (much like myself). 2. Light bubbly whites like a splodge of swing and the odd classical number. But for a drier c...

It's Thursday! He's here! And he's very grateful for the suggestion! It's Cyrilllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hello Chums! Your pal Cyril here and I would just like to say a great big 'thank you' to one of my top fans for coming up a simply brilliant idea. It quite clear that young people these days have simply no idea where their food...or drink for that matter, comes from. So what could be better than to involve a group of ....well, visiting students, in helping out on a working meadow for a couple of days...or weeks. The chance to actually do things like, picking the grass vines, filling the vats, digging an extensive series of new drainage ditches! What an education that would be! It's a once in a lifetime chance....which could easily last a lifetime. Cyril's Educational Outreach Programme....you know it makes sense! Take care Cyril PS Know of a young person who's looking for work? Too big to fit up a chimney? Call ...

'And so,' concluded Captain Bill, 'to protect against the Sun and thus allow calm thinking is stressful situations, the Captain's Summer Hat is an essential piece of equipment!' Ms Camille and her students took time to admire the essential piece of equipment. 'Well,' Camille said at last,'yet another gem of information for ma students! I should not be surprised if they are all going on to be brave sea captains!' 'Of course,' added Captain Bill, 'it takes many years of hard study at Captain School, but I'm sure that you're all up to it!' 'But with the knitted compasses from the museum gift shop I already feel they are 'alf way there!' replied Camille and everybody laughed. 'So now,' said Norma, 'if you would like to make your way down the stairs and onto the Mootilus, Captain Bill will be taking you out for a short trip upon the high seas!' So Camille and the calves made their way onto the boat a...

'How long!' asked Captain Bill. 'A few weeks,' replied Norma,'it depends on when the balloon comes back to pick them up.' 'But what are we going to do with them?' asked Captain Bill, 'I suppose there's always another trip to the museum!' 'I don't think you could make that last 3 weeks,' replied Norma, 'as exciting as it is!' 'Hmmm,' replied Captain Bill, 'perhaps not!' 'I thought maybe you could take them out for a sail,' suggested Norma, 'you could go in the Mootilus, they'd like that...and you're hat would be unmunged by then.' 'Welllllllllllll,' replied Captain Bill, 'I wouldn't want to rush into something....there would be a lot of things to consider...things to organise.' 'That's OK,' said Norma, 'I've arranged for Horace to look after them on Friday, you've got plenty of time to get organised.' And at this point she held up Captai...

You've missed him (hopefully)! Now he's back and let's face it, he's difficult to resist! Iiiittttttttttttt'sssssssssssssssssssssssss CYRILLLLLLLLLL! Dearly beloved, I am gathered here today and that's not easy when you're my size! Seriously, there are bits of me trying to get overboard even as I speak. But I am here today to accept your forgiveness (and perhaps a cake or two), for it is true: I have sinned! Now I know that, for some time, my financial arrangements have left a few of you with some degree of concern and I accept that my selling on of the Pickled Heifer has met with some minor criticism (although let's be honest, some around here make a living out of moaning). But anyway, I shall try my best (and you know how good that can be!!) to turn over a new hoof. So all I'm asking is, give young Cyril another chance. We are who we are, unless it's a question of tax returns and then the mittens are off! I leave you all with a giant Cyril hug ...

So who is Bertha and why should you want to know her? Bertha is not in charge... at least not on paper but she finds it difficult to just stand back and watch Captain Bill mess it up for the squillionth time. So she gets 'involved'. Now this often works and things move forward and everyone benefits... but you can't help wanting her to be a bit more diplomatic about it. And when she's not sitting up in the Cows nest what else does she get up to? She runs the Cow Island Library (new members always welcome, please return on time) and then to relax she has her sculptures. The chance to stand in a big, wide open space and bash the heck out of large slabs of rock... it's what Bertha was made for.