Cow Island

'For the last time madame unhoof me!' 'And for the last time they are hands!' 'Then unhoofhand me...I need to steer me ship! 'A bit to port I think!' suggested Queen Phoebe. 'Which just goes to show how little you know madame,' replied Captain Bill, 'you are clearly indicating towards starboliarboliboard! Now who put that ship there? There's a lot of them isn't there! Hey you! Move it! If I hit him it'll be all his fault! 'You just need to turn a little to port,' said Queen Phoebe. 'I think you'll find there's only one captain on this ship!' replied Captain Bill. 'Right!' exclaimed Queen Phoebe. 'That's it!' 'Ah! No! No you don't! Give me back my hat!' 'Queenie's in charge!' replied Queen Phoebe.  'Perhaps everywhere else but not here!' said Captain Bill. 'Now give it back! I could have you thrown in the brig for this!' 'SI...

'What an earth is going on?' asked Captain Bill. 'Norma's buying something!' replied Bertha. Captain Bill stared at the scene before him. 'It's worse than a rugby scrum!' he declared after a while, 'we've got a week into the new year and already it's all gone to pot!' 'It's only because somebody else wants the same item as well,' said Bertha. 'So I see,' replied Captain Bill,'they're big fellows as well! I wouldn't be surprised if they were a rugby team.' 'Norma'll win!' said Bertha confidently. 'What is it anyway?' asked Captain Bill and Bertha lent forward to get a better look. 'Could be a duvet,' she replied,' or curtains!' 'Scurtuns!' called out Norma. 'CURTAINS!' mooed Captain Bill,'but we don't have any windows!' 'But there are portholes on the ship,' replied Bertha. 'Brilliant!' said Captain Bill,' I can see the ...