Cow Island

'And then I turn the twirly whirly and the ship goes in a different direction,' said Horace. 'You see Captain Whatsisname made it out to be all so difficult,' replied Queen Phoebe, 'and yet from what you're saying it's as easy as easy could be!' 'Well there may be rather more to it than that,' said Horace, 'I'm not really all that interested in it to be honest.' 'No, I'm sure you've understood it completely,' replied Queen Phoebe. 'You know when you're not reading poetry you're actually not that boring to have around.' 'Er........thanks!' said Horace. 'Now I notice that ship over there is going faster than us so we'll need to speed up.' 'Erm...right,' said Horace, 'I'm not sure I can do that with the twirly whirly? It might be better to ask Norma or Bertha.' 'She's the shouty one?' asked Queen Phoebe. 'Indeed,' replied Horace...

'But she does know?' asked Captain Bill. 'She knows it wasn't my fault?' 'I think you made that perfectly clear to her,' replied Norma. 'Good, good!' said Captain Bill. 'I just didn't want there to be any doubts.' 'She's not mentioned it to be honest,' replied Norma, 'I think she's starting to miss King Otto.' 'Well I told her not to come!' mooed Captain Bill. 'Perhaps you did but she's here now and I think we should just do our best to look after her,' replied Norma. 'So I see,' said Captain Bill, '....are those...are those cushions from my cabin?' 'I didn't have enough of my own,' replied Norma. 'And that's my fan!' 'She's a bit hot.' 'So that makes it OK to just help yourself to my stuff?' asked Captain Bill. 'She is a Queen,' replied Norma, 'she's used to a certain standard of living, we may a...

Helloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! (Summer 'o's are now ready to harvest and may be pickled for later use.) It's me! Annie! At least I think I'm Annie, I'm sure I've got it written down somewhere to confirm it. If I'm not I'm someone incredibly like her so let's just pretend that I am and get on with things. So how are you? I'm not really interested but Norma says it's polite to ask. According to the latest reports I'm about to be spattereriaterified. I was due to only be spatterified but I got a free upgrade and some extra cushions which my chum Geraldine is test snoozing. So how are you? I'm still not really interested but it's been a while since I asked. Cake or trifle? It's a difficult one! Anyhoweverables, should things go terribly wrong and all deadsville I would like to be remembered as someone who did things and wore some pretty spiffy stripey hoof mittens while she was...

'Norma?'gasped Horace,'Norma are you there?' 'I'm here!' said Norma. 'Norma,'whispered Horace, 'if this is it...if this is the end, there's something I'd like you to know, something I've always been meaning to tell you.' 'Yes?' said Norma. 'I'd still like you to try to get my poetry published!' Norma swallowed deeply. 'Horace,' she said. 'Yes?' said Horace. 'You got hit by a cushion....NOW GET UP AND DO SOMETHING USEFUL!' And with that Norma turned and herded off towards the other end of the balloon. 'Well that's a bit stiff!' mooed Horace after her. But nobody agreed with Horace.