Cow Island

'Ooooh!' said Norma. 'Ooooh!........................Ooooooh!......Oooh!' 'Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!' mooed Annie. 'What are you doing?' asked Norma. 'Joining in!' replied Annie. 'Although I don't recognise the tune.' 'There isn't one,' said Norma. '..........Oooooh!' 'If you run out of 'O's I'll lend you some.' 'I'll try not to.' 'Are you OK for 'H's?' 'Fine!' replied Norma. 'Why?......Oh why?........Oh why?' 'Hmmm?' said Annie. 'Tricky! Is it something to do with hippopotomouses on bicycles?' 'No, not really,' replied Norma. 'How about making trifles up mountains?' Norma gave just the tiniest shake of her head. 'The failure of foreign policy? The number of trees around rings? Baldness in bricks?' 'No!' said Norma. 'Perhaps,' Annie speculated, 'th...

'And...and...and another thing......if....if he likes me, why doesn't he just say so? Why doesn't, why doesn't......................where've you gone?                  There you are!!! You're tiny! You're tiny, tiny...tiny..............tiny person!                                           And and another thing...if, if he likes me. Have I already said this? Wellitdoesn'tmatter...if, if he likes me.       Have you always been this small? Cus when, when, when..........................What was I saying? It was, it was, no, no, it was...or was it? Anyhow, why doesn't he...You're tiny! I was tiny once, ages and ages ago, I was, I was about this big. Oooh! Everything moved! Everything went movey, movey. Do try to stand still when you're moving, please. Pleased to be sitting, standing, still because otherwise............otherw...

'But don't you find it just a little depressing?' said Captain Bill. Cyril looked blankly back at him. 'Just the whole excess of it,' continued Captain Bill. 'They're just sleeping it off,' replied Cyril. 'But really!' said Captain Bill. 'They were only having fun,' replied Cyril, 'nobody got hurt.' Captain Bill sighed. 'I think it's embarrassing,' he said, 'and it's quite clear to me that you shouldn't try to mix penguins and alcohol.' 'Well you'd have trouble finding a cocktail shaker that was big enough,' replied Cyril. 'You have to make a joke about everything don't you!' mooed Captain Bill. 'Sorry,' replied Cyril, 'you're right, it's wrong to let them get this way. I'll promise never to let this happen again.' 'Really?' said Captain Bill. 'Really,' said Cyril, 'and from now on I'll try to take things more seriously.' ...

'And so,' continued Norma, 'myself and my very good friend, Ms Bertha.' 'Hello!' said Bertha. 'We were wondering if you might be so kind as to direct us towards the Ms Geraldine, Penguin of the Year After Show Party.' 'If you don't mind me saying so,' said Bertha, 'that wasn't the most helpful of answers.' 'I didn't think it was an answer at all!' mooed Norma. 'You don't think,' said Bertha, 'you don't think it was because you were asking a tree?' Norma shook her head and her hat fell off. 'Annie's always talking to trees,' she replied, 'and they always talk back to her.' 'We do...we do only have her word on that,' pointed out Bertha. 'Very true, 'said Norma. 'Perhaps,' suggested Bertha, '...perhaps we need to ask her to ask the tree?' Norma thought about this. 'Annie!' she called out. 'Annie!' called Bertha. 'ANNIE!' sc...

'That's 1st Time Author as well!' mooed Bertha. 'GO GERALDINE!' screamed Norma. 'Oooooooooooooooooooh!' said Bertha. 'She's seen us.' 'Wave for me,' said Norma. So Bertha waved and Geraldine waved back. 'We know her,' said Norma to no-one in particular. 'She is a close personal friend,' added Bertha. 'Are there....are there any nibbles?' asked Norma. 'Hang on,' replied Bertha, 'I'll have a look.........Yes! On the table.' 'Most excellent,' mooed Norma. 'Now where is the table?' 'It's here,' replied Bertha and she banged her head on the table to indicate it's location. 'Oh goodie!' said Norma, 'and is there just a drop more wine?' 'Er?' replied Bertha, '....er.....no!' 'Bleh!' said Norma. 'I agree,' replied Bertha. 'Waiter......Waiter..........WAITER!' 'Right,' said Captain Bill, 'that's it! I...