Cow Island

'Lefty!' called out Flossie. '......................Lefty!' 'Yes?' 'Where are you?' 'Over here!' 'Right!.....................................Where's that?' 'Errrrrrrrrrrrr...now you ask?' 'Can you see me?' 'Where are you?' 'I'm here!' '........................................................................................No!' 'OK!' bleated Flossie. 'On paper it was a good idea, I approved it, my responsibility, but, got to be honest, it's not panned out.' 'I should have done a full feasibility study,' replied Lefty, 'and a proper risk assessment.' 'Never enough time,' said Flossie. 'Now being practical...hang on! Did you hear that?' 'What?' 'That splash!' 'Was it a splash?' 'I thought it was a splash?' 'Mum!..............................Mum?' 'Stay calm,...

'Can't look! Can't look! Can't look! Can't look!' mooed Norma. 'I find,' said Cyril, 'in times like these, when it all gets a bit stressy, nothing helps more than a big spoonful of strawberry trifle.' 'Not for me thanks!' replied Norma. 'I'll finish it off then,' said Cyril. 'Seems a shame to waste it. So Cyril ate the last spoonful and then the spoon and then the bowl. 'How many hours has he been at it now?' asked Norma. 'Dunno,' mused Cyril. 'Four, four and a half?' 'HARD A STARBOLIABOLIBOARD!' shouted Captain Bill. 'YOU MEAN PORT!' shouted back Bertha. 'And I really don't know why he keeps doing that?' 'What?' asked Norma. 'Shouting out the course corrections,' replied Bertha. 'He's the one doing the steering!' 'I don't think he's ever really understood the connection between the wheel and the rudder,...

'I just thought it would be a conciliatory gesture,' said Norma. 'Which would be more than the sort of gesture that I'm regularly used to receiving,' replied Captain Bill. 'Did you know there was list?' 'I had heard mention of it,' conceded Norma. 'Apparently number 47 is rather unfair.' 'And that makes it OK then I suppose.' 'None of this is her fault,' continued Norma, 'and she has steered before.' 'Possible she has,' replied Captain Bill, 'but I, as the recognised captain, will make the decisions...If I'm still allowed?' Norma came up the last stair and stood by Captain Bill. 'I think I might stay,' she said. 'Stay?' 'Stay here,' replied Norma. 'Stay here and let you all sail away and look after yourselves. Bertha is 1st Mate you know. You should be talking to her about this. I could sit on the beach and get some knitting done.' '..........

You've been pining for him! He's risking life and hoof even as he speaks! But he's here for you.... It'ssssssssssssss CYRILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!! Morning Fluffies, Are you well? Things must be looking up a bit, after all, you're looking at a picture of me! Do you like the tail? I think it adds a certain something and confirms, if confirmation were needed, that even heavily disguised mon handsomenessnus shines through! Now last time we met I was throwing Captain Bill off a balloon. No doubt you were thinking that, what with old eyepatch about to be rumbled, that your hero saved the day by spotting a hayrick and aiming his leader in that general direction and indeed I can now confirm that at least a part of that was correct. So what, I hear you ask, is life like as a pirate? Not bad at all comes my reply! 3 square meals a day, 15 triangular ones and an octagonal snackette just before lights out AND a free designer cutlass!!! I could take to it, I really co...