Cow Island

'No...no, she's nodded off again.' 'Not to worry,' Flossie replied. 'It was a boost to morale to have her awake, even if it wasn't for long.' 'I might ask Harriet to get her aboard the Mint Sauce,' Lefty bleated. 'Good idea,' Flossie agreed. And so, leaving Lefty's mum to rest, they made their way back onto the set. 'Right,' Flossie began, 'scene...whatever...think of a number. Royal champion defeated, giant squid triumphant...is he here by the way?' 'He lost a tentacle,' Lefty explained. 'So he did!' Flossie bleated. 'He's having it put back on. Shouldn't be long.' 'Fine! Right, where was I? Ah, yes, giant squid triumphant and so...finally...dramatic action time arrives!' 'Whoopee do!' Queen Phoebe yawned. 'Apologies for the delay,' Flossie replied. 'Tis one of those things when filming.' 'Well, that's all very well for ...

'The bill's correct,' Lefty whispered. 'It wasn't a mistake.' 'But who can eat that many trifles?' Flossie asked. 'Perhaps they've got a problem?' Lefty suggested. 'You know, like an addiction.' 'Possible I suppose,' Flossie bleated. 'But 315?' 'So, what now?' Lefty asked. Flossie thought for a while.  'Change of plan,' he eventually replied. 'We can't hang about. We'll just have to improvise.' And he walked back onto the set. 'Right,' he began, '...............................................Scene 237.' 'What 'appended to all the other scenes!!!' Queen Phoebe exclaimed. 'Ah!' Flossie replied. 'Tis one of those filming things. We don't always shoot scenes in sequence. Might seem strange if you're not used to it but it's perfectly normal. So, scene.....?' '237,' Lefty said. 'In which your majest...

'It's just if you're any lower you'll be in shot,' Lefty bleated. 'Really, it's fine,' Flossie replied. 'Now, Scene 3, it is the afternoon.' 'What time exactly?' Queen Phoebe asked. Flossie looked at Lefty, Lefty shrugged. 'The precise time appears to be unimportant,' Flossie explained. 'Well it may not be to you,' Queen Phoebe replied, 'but His Kingshipfulness takes a nap around 1.30 and I wouldn't want him disturbed.' 'Then we shall make it 3 o'clock if that suits?' Flossie said. 'Fine with me,' Queen Phoebe replied. 'Pray continue.' 'Glad to be of service,' Flossie said. 'It is 3 o'clock, your majesty is inside the castle.' 'But One is outside!' Queen Phoebe observed. 'The castle will be added in later,' Lefty bleated. 'It's what we call a special effect.' 'Well I never!' Queen Phoebe replied. '...