Cow Island

'But it's for me!' exclaimed Captain Bill. 'Can't be helped,' replied Cyril, 'it's the last one, I've checked.' 'But I can't fit into that!' continued Captain Bill. 'Not my fault,' replied Cyril. 'Look I'm not sure why we're discussing this anyway, surely my replacement cabin will come with its own hammock?' 'Nobody said anything about a cabin,' replied Cyril. 'Well obviously there will be a cabin!' mooed Captain Bill. 'Not as far as I'm aware,' replied Cyril. 'But we've got loads of spare cabins!' said Captain Bill. Cyril shook his head. 'Nope!'  'But we must have! It's an enormous ship! There must be one spare cabin!' 'All fully booked,' replied Cyril. 'But there are only 6 of us!' said Captain Bill. '7!' corrected Cyril. '7?' said Captain Bill. 'Are you saying that Geraldine has her ...

Helloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! (Summer 'o's are now ready to harvest and may be pickled for later use.) It's me! Annie! At least I think I'm Annie, I'm sure I've got it written down somewhere to confirm it. If I'm not I'm someone incredibly like her so let's just pretend that I am and get on with things. So how are you? I'm not really interested but Norma says it's polite to ask. According to the latest reports I'm about to be spattereriaterified. I was due to only be spatterified but I got a free upgrade and some extra cushions which my chum Geraldine is test snoozing. So how are you? I'm still not really interested but it's been a while since I asked. Cake or trifle? It's a difficult one! Anyhoweverables, should things go terribly wrong and all deadsville I would like to be remembered as someone who did things and wore some pretty spiffy stripey hoof mittens while she was...

'So shall I open another bottle of the '73?' asked Cyril. 'No, I'm OK thanks,'replied Captain Bill. 'Was I, was I really that bad as a captain?' Cyril thought for a while. 'You were rubbish!' he said at last,'But considering the alternatives you'd still get my vote!' 'Hmm,' said Captain Bill,'unfortunately it's not votes that count! I need a signed certifflicate!' 'Really?' replied Cyril,'you should have said, I've got a box of them laying around here somewhere!' 'No a proper one,' said Captain Bill.'Anyway, thanks for letting me stay for a while!' he added. 'No problem,' replied Cyril,'with any luck Bertha will be past the major shouty stage by the weekend.' 'I'll still have to face her though!' said Captain Bill. 'Your problem,' replied Cyril,'if you don't mind me saying so, is that you worry too much.' 'You don...

Hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo* It's me! There are lots of people onboard wearing hats....I like a hat, you can keep things in it. Most people keep their heads in one but you could use it to store other things like your ironing or a big statue. Now you'll notice that I'm de-cotton wooled. Norma (my best friend) said that I if I did then I could spend some time just laying in my hammock and knitting..I like knitting as well. Maybe I should knit another hat? Anyway Norma said I can stay here for as long as I like while the hat people are here....and there was something else..what was it? Oh yes! I should try not to fall overboard. I was to try to make a real effort not to fall overboard...by staying in my hammock and not going near the edge of the ship...'nowhere near the edge of Mr Ship' she said because Captain Eyepatch wouldn't be very happy if I fell overboard. So I'm just laying here........oooooooooooooh! That's a bit odd! How did I get that close...

Hellllooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! (I am using pickled 'o's as fresh ones are not available when at sea) It's Annie here. Now as you will all know, we are going off to collect our chum, Norman. This is EXCITING!!!! Actually on the official Annie scale of excitingness it scores a huge, great big 10! It's so exciting I have to stop myself from stampeding around my hammock (not easy). I'm sure that you'll all like Norman...I may even put a bet on it with my bookie, Mr Sir Cyril of the Turf. Some of you have been kind enough to ask who Norman actually is, so I thought I would draw you a picture. I like drawing pictures....sometimes when you draw pictures they can be of things that are real...like Norman or things that you've just had a dream about...like nose pixies (my best friend Norma said it was just a dream...that's Norma not Norman, I have no idea what Norman's view is on nose pixies, I shall ask him when I see him). So I have my pencils and c...

Morning all, Bertha here, have we all been enjoying brave Capitaine Bile's Ocean voyage? I know I did! I had a lovely view of it from my chair, some of the calves were even kind enough to give me a wave from time to time. I really must get our glorious leader to give me some lessons one day! Perhaps I might even get him to write a book! '7 Days Lost in the Harbour' ?!? Anyway, as they're now all safely back on land, I can respond to Norma's note (see horn). I'm sure she's quite right that Cyril will need to some supervision and more to the point if it really is grass vine harvest time, we'll all need to be there (I've told Annie she can wait until her shrimp knitting project is completed but then she's to follow on) Right, forward at a steady jog...see you all there! Bertha.

Helllllllllllllloooooooooooooooooooo, Annie here, I'm trying not think about leaving my Penguin chums, which is pretty difficult. I've tried to think about other things... chocolate lamp posts* and trifles that can fly but I'm still not finding it very easy. Norma (my best friend) says that it's OK if I want to spend the next few days in bed, to help me get over it... like I need her permission! Also my chum Cyril has left a present for me in my hammock. But he's left instructions that I'm not to open it for a day or two and that I'm legally responsible for all the consequentials. That's fine by me, mainly because I haven't got a clue what that means! Well I'm just going to lay here for a bit longer... I may count my legs again... I had 17 yesterday... Bye, Annie *Obviously I mean very good quality dark chocolate... milk chocolate just wouldn't work at all.

Where does one begin when talking about Annie? She is... special. Blessed with the ability to talk 'Shrimp' but frequently unable to remember how many legs she has. Fascinated by Penguins and partial to cake. Of all the herd she is perhaps the most likely to fall overboard when out sailing and she doesn't care one jot about it. And when not being pulled from the sea, the place where you can be sure of finding her is in her hammock... or playing deck croquet with Bertha and Norma. She is a beacon to us all: do what you want to do, do it today and don't regret a thing. We can learn a lot from Annie. But not Captain Bill's name... she can never remember it!