Cow Island

'But surely even you have to concede that it's a coincidence too far?' Norma said. 'I've given you my opinion,' Captain Bill replied. 'But honestly,' Norma continued, 'a brand new chain of holiday islands and one of them just happens to have a pier....with a helter skelter on it!' 'It's perfectly possible that they could have decided to build one of their own.' 'Well, everyone else thinks there must be a link.' Captain Bill pointed to his Captain's hat. '...........................Even Captains can be wrong sometimes,' Norma ventured. 'But not this time,' Captain Bill mooed, 'AND I have proof!' 'Really?' Norma asked. 'Your problem is you don't think things through, none of you do,' Captain Bill replied. 'You see an advert for some holiday islands with a pier and a helter skelter and you leap to conclusions. You just let your imaginations run away with you...

'You are 'olding a piece of seaweed,' Camille observed. 'Yes,' Captain Bill replied. 'OK!' Camille continued. 'I 'ave to tell you that if it is intended as a gift for me, then I am wearing ma disappointed face. Also, I am using the word disappointed and furthermore I wish you to imagine that ma little students 'ave 'astily constructed a sign upon which they 'ave written the word disappointed and they are 'olding it up next to ma 'ead like some sort of oversized think bubble.' 'It's not for you,' Captain Bill replied. 'So, now they 'ave added the word 'very' to the sign as it 'as become clear that I am to receive no gift at all!' 'You see,' Captain Bill began. 'I can only conclude that you were distracted from gift buying by your need to build, what in ma eyes appears to be, an 'urriedly made barricade which you are trying, unsuccessfully I must say, to 'id...