Cow Island

'No!' pleaded Norma. 'Do try to focus. Remember we've spoken about this before. The real world doesn't have any armchair trees.' 'My real world does!' mooed Annie. 'Possibly!' conceded Norma. 'But we're talking about the real real world.' 'Are you sure?' asked Annie. 'Positve!' replied Norma. 'Nor does it have any tartan patterned clouds or upside down hills.' Annie put her brush down and herded very close to Norma. 'It sounds very boring this real real world of yours.' 'Perhaps it is?' said Norma. 'But that's how most people see it.' 'I much prefer my version.' replied Annie. 'And you can,' said Norma, 'it's just that we need these paintings to look like the real real world or they won't work.' 'Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?' mused Annie. 'Please?' asked Norma. 'As you like!' said Annie and she went ...

'Could be a coincidence,' mooed Norma. 'Have you actually read the article?' asked Captain Bill. 'Well......,' replied Norma. 'And in particular I'm referring to the 'twenty ton block of granite still missing' paragraph,' continued Captain Bill. 'I confess I hadn't got that far,' replied Norma. 'You possibly stopped at the 'very, very large person seen running from scene' section?' suggested Captain Bill. 'But the description!' replied Norma. 'Bowler hat!.....Moustache! That doesn't sound like Cyril and besides he's got a receipt for the block that he got us.' 'Writen in crayon!' said Captain Bill calmly, 'which also contains a drawing of Geraldine with the legend, 'I love pengimings' attached to it.' 'I'm sure Annie's innocent...ish,' replied Norma. 'When I get hold of him!' mooed Captain Bill. 'You'll what?'...

'I said 4 small holes!' mooed Bertha. 'That is what I'm trying to do!' replied Horace. 'And they need to be square.' 'That's what I was aiming for!' 'Perhaps,' continued Bertha, 'but you'll have to unpick it.' 'Again?' said Horace desperately. 'Again!' replied Bertha. 'It's got to be right.' 'But I can't get it right!' pleaded Horace. 'Rubbish!' replied Bertha. 'It's just a question of practise.' 'But it's the ninth time!' sobbed Horace. 'So?' asked Bertha. 'Besides, it's character building.' 'I already have a character!' replied Horace. 'Which I am aware of, which is why I'm going easy on you,' said Bertha. 'Going easy on me?????'  'Norma asked me to,' replied Bertha. 'But it has to be right, Annie's life may depend upon it.' 'Could I have a break firs...

'Now Annie says she only needs one but I think we should have a back up?' 'Agreed,' replied Bertha, 'there's little enough margin for error as it is!' 'It'll mean a lot more work though,' added Norma. 'And it might be tricky to source such a large quantity of needles,' replied Bertha. 'That's where Cyril comes in,' panted Norma. 'Thought it would be!' replied Bertha, 'and I suppose it'll be best not to ask where he'll get them from?' 'In this instance I wasn't going to,' said Norma. 'And the knitting rota?' 'Already drawn up,' replied Norma, 'but we'll need all hooves on deck to get it completed.' 'And does Annie want it to rotate clockwise or counter clockwise?' 'She says it's not important as long as the wind speed is below 10mph,' replied Norma, 'it's the vertical drop speed that's important.' Bertha ...