Cow Island

'I said 4 small holes!' mooed Bertha. 'That is what I'm trying to do!' replied Horace. 'And they need to be square.' 'That's what I was aiming for!' 'Perhaps,' continued Bertha, 'but you'll have to unpick it.' 'Again?' said Horace desperately. 'Again!' replied Bertha. 'It's got to be right.' 'But I can't get it right!' pleaded Horace. 'Rubbish!' replied Bertha. 'It's just a question of practise.' 'But it's the ninth time!' sobbed Horace. 'So?' asked Bertha. 'Besides, it's character building.' 'I already have a character!' replied Horace. 'Which I am aware of, which is why I'm going easy on you,' said Bertha. 'Going easy on me?????'  'Norma asked me to,' replied Bertha. 'But it has to be right, Annie's life may depend upon it.' 'Could I have a break firs...

'And so,' continued Camille,'I managed to persuade their ruthless pirate leader that it would be in everyones interest for ma little students to continue some sort of rudimentary education.' 'Well, well done you!' replied Captain Bill. 'Indeed,' said Camille,'but unfortunately the only books I 'ad with me were for some, how you say, light 'oliday reading.' And Camille passed Captain Bill two hardbacked books. ''Digging tunnels for pleasure and profit',' read out Captain Bill from the cover of the 1st book. 'Yes,' replied Camille,'Blanche and Alice have been making what they can of it but without heavy lifting equipment and a decent oxygen supply they 'ave found it difficult to get beyond about 900m in any given direction!' 'Still, commendable effort!' said Captain Bill,'and the other book?' ''My First Glider',' replied Camille,'see 'ere how Jean Claude ha...