Cow Island

'Cushions!' said Cyril. 'Pardon?' said Horace. 'Cushions!' repeated Cyril. 'I need to get more cushions.' 'You seem to have plenty already,' said Horace. 'A gentleman,' replied Cyril, 'can never have too many cushions.' 'Gentleman?' mooed Captain Bill. 'Now as I've told you before,' replied Cyril, 'if you're not happy you can leave whenever you're ready.' 'And may I remind you,' said Captain Bill, 'that this is MY ship!' 'Perhaps you could pop upstairs and tell the woolly folk that?' replied Cyril. 'Now, as I'm not one to harbour a grudge and as you are my guests.............who's for cake? You can decline if you wish.' 'May I have a slice of lemon drizzle?' asked Horace. 'Slice!' exclaimed Cyril. 'We don't deal in slices! Slicing requires knives and knives get dirty and then they need washing. I can't be...

'Are you OK?' asked Norma. 'Not really,' replied Captain Bill,'...I threw my hat away!' 'I know,' said Norma,'Horace saw you.' 'There didn't seem much point in keeping it,' replied Captain Bill,'not now.' 'It was only one question,' said Norma,'I thought you did really well apart from that and before they left they did say that you could re-apply after a year.' 'I'm not sure I'll bother,' said Captain Bill who was looking down at the ground. And for while there was silence. 'We brought you some cake,' said Norma at last,'it's your favourite, lemon with extra thick icing on top.' And Cyril coughed slightly. 'Well a bit of the icing has gone,' said Norma. And Cyril coughed again. 'Actually most of the icing has gone,' added Norma,'but I couldn't have carried it all this way and it's taken us a long time to find where you were.' 'I...