Cow Island

'It's getting dark,' Captain Bill observed. 'So it is,' Norma replied. 'I'll give them 5 more minutes.' 'That's kind of you,' Norma suggested. Captain Bill nodded in agreement. 'I don't want them to miss out,' he finally replied. 'I really thought they'd want to be here.' 'I do know that Horace is too busy though,' Norma explained. 'He's got a poem that he's trying to finish.' 'Oh!' Captain Bill mooed. 'Struggling is he?' 'He said he's not feeling depressed enough to really tackle it,' Norma replied. 'And Cyril and Annie are having a 'Who can eat the most trifle' competition.' Captain Bill looked puzzled. 'Didn't they have that a couple of months ago?' he asked. 'It's the same one,' Norma replied. 'They're both very keen on winning.' 'Oh!' Captain Bill mooed for the second time. ...

'3 DAYS!' Norma exclaimed. '3 Days and we have got nowhere! 3 days of diversions and petty asides and squabbles with hardly a word spoken about the holiday! Horace, it's just a bruise, get over it! Bertha, Captain Bill is entitled to an opinion...even if it is, by and large, negative waffle. Annie, try to do the real world just once in a while! Cyril................................behave!  Captain Bill, we are going on holiday so just get used to it! And with that Norma turned and stampeded away. Only to stampede back again a few moments later. 'Horace,' she began, 'bruises are not nice, I am sincerely sorry that it hurts. Bertha, I realise you just want to move things along in a positive direction. Could you please hand around the voting forms. Annie, as reality is whatever you believe it to be, who am I to say that flying badgers don't exist. Cyril, I'll take two t-shirts in small....well, medium...unless you have them in medium large? Cap...

'Well I think it was a rotten thing to have done without warning him,' mooed Norma. 'I was only trying to help Geraldine,' replied Bertha.  'Which was kind,' accepted Norma, 'and I don't blame her for any of this and I would always support anyone who wanted to better themselves...but you must have known the effect it would have.' 'He'll get over it,' replied Bertha, 'but should he decide he doesn't want to be captain anymore.' 'Well he still has my support,' said Norma. 'Despite his...his.' 'Incompetence?' suggested Bertha. 'I wasn't going to put it in quite that way,' replied Norma, 'and in future I think these sort of things should be done in the open so everyone knows what's going on.' 'We weren't the only ones to sign,' said Bertha. 'Geraldine was kind enough to show me a copy of her application form,' replied Norma. 'Annie's si...

'Let me start,' began  Captain Bill, 'by pointing out that I already know the answer to this and am only asking so as to achieve maximum sarcastic impact, but just how much time have we spent on this 'think' business?' '.............................................a while,' replied Norma. 'Exactly?' asked Captain Bill. '.........................Not sure when we started really,' replied Norma. 'Hmmm,' said Captain Bill, 'and at the end of it, at the end of this long, long awful drawn out process...what are we left with?' 'She did risk her life for this,' pointed out Norma. 'I'm tempted to wonder if we got the right result?' mused Captain Bill. 'That's not nice,' mooed Norma, 'you're still her captain. You should be supportive even if it's not quite turned out as we expected.' 'Some people,' replied Captain Bill, 'are easier to support than others...

In the cool still of the night four friends huddled close under the base of a large sign deep in hushed conversation. 'But I couldn't find any willow so I used hazel instead but Norma, my best friend, told me to stop after half an hour!' 'Well, that'll be enough to be going on with,' replied Cyril. 'Excuse me!' interrupted Norma,'I really don't think that the best way to spend our time tonight is in discussing ways of poking Horace with a stick!' 'Please yourself!' replied Cyril. 'So if we might move on to the rescue of Ms Camille and her little students,' suggested Norma. 'In the big field, with the high hedge, at the top of the hill,' replied Cyril. 'Guards?' asked Norma. '14,' replied Cyril. 'Hmmm, that's a lot!' said Norma. 'Not really,' replied Cyril,'they're all on the gate.' 'All of them?' questioned Norma. 'That's sheep for you!' said Cyril. ...