Cow Island

'And fish,' Annie continued, 'almost never wear shoes, which is because shoe builders don't put enough sequins on them.' Annie paused and waited for Captain Eyepatch to say something profound.  After 11.3 minutes she found the silence too much. Octopipus.....Octipup.........Octoberpus......eight legged wobbly water things don't wear shoes either but that's just a protest over prices because they don't earn much because people don't give them jobs because they're not wearing shoes......................Underwater shoe emporia are also very rare.' Again Annie paused. From the bit in her head that she called Memoryland she recalled that this would normally be about the time that Captain Bill would tell her to shut up. But this time he didn't. Annie did a short dance. 'And people worry too much about things they can't do anything about but they'd be better off either doing something positive to influence the situat...

'I know it wasn't anyone's fault,' began Norma, 'I just thought that to help to keep the peace you could just say that you were sorry.' Annie stared at Norma. 'I've lost a mitten.' 'It's on the pier,' replied Norma, 'Cyril's gone to collect it, but if you could just explain that it was an accident. You know how Captain Bill gets himself all worked up over these sorts of things.' 'Mittens!' mooed Annie and she stampeded off towards the pier. Norma sighed. Bertha arrived. 'I saw the whole thing,' she said, 'he was clearly standing in the wrong place, he never learns.' 'Yes, quite possibly,' conceded Norma, 'but I'm just trying to do my bit smooth things over and I'm pretty sure Cyril did stick a hoof out.' 'Well he shouldn't have been standing there,' said Bertha. 'No,' replied Norma, 'but I don't think there's anything to be gained by letting these ...

'Madness!' mooed Captain Bill. 'Well I did try to warn you,' replied Norma. 'I thought they'd have trouble stopping.' 'They could have killed someone,' said Captain Bill, '...me in particular!' 'Oh no!' replied Norma. 'They wouldn't have done that...their time wouldn't have counted if they'd killed someone...it's in the rules.' 'That's a fine comfort,' said Captain Bill. 'Well no harm done really,' replied Norma, 'and look I've managed to find a towel for you.' 'Thanks,' said Captain Bill. 'And I think we'd better have a look at that hat of yours as well,' 'It's all soggy,' said Captain Bill. 'There, there,' replied Norma, 'not to worry, it'll dry, although I think we aught to do that somewhere else. I'm really not sure that Geraldine should be using a dryer down on the beach.' 'And the Octopus?' asked Captain Bill. ...