Cow Island

'Where as if you look closely you'll see that number 3 is ever so slightly more twisty than number 2 which is in itself ever so, ever so slightly more twisty than number 1 which is why it's use aboard ship is restricted to only those jobs which require a very high degree of twistyness,' concluded Captain Bill, '...........you'll have to look closely,' he reminded. Queen Phoebe glanced at the sample in question. 'So,' she asked, 'do you have all of this written down on the back of the board then?' 'Certainly not!' mooed Captain Bill. 'So...so you've actually learnt all this?' 'Indeed!' replied Captain Bill proudly. 'Right,' said Queen Phoebe. 'You can borrow them if you want to?' said Captain Bill. 'Not sure I could cope?' replied Queen Phoebe. 'Well have them for a couple of days and then I could always bring you some more,' suggested Captain Bill. 'You...

Ello subjects! Your Queen speaking! You'll be glad to hear (you will, remember we have plenty of dungeons) that I've collected his little Crownness (isn't he adorable, One don't know how One survived without 'im) and we've switched to his biggest ship. All of which means it's pirate sheep stomping time! 'Brave King rescues grateful poor people.' I think that's the sort of headline we're looking for...and perhaps a few pages of photos in the Sunday's...although experience would suggest that we should settle for anything what don't call for a revolution. The problem is they don't realise what his little Kingshipfulness has to deal with! He's had to cancel 3 garden parties and a brace of banquets just to be 'ere! (cue 'King don't bother turning up' editorial). They seem to think all he has to do is wander around in a big robe wearing a crown. They don't get to see the behind the scenes stuff. I mean, h...