Cow Island

'Curses part one hundred and twelve...give or take,' Flossie began. 'Lost count if I'm honest! The swag bag's been giant stapled to the cliff me hearties!' 'Does make it more secure,' Lefty observed. 'It's less likely to fall off the edge now.' 'True!' Flossie replied. 'But not really the point.........Don't suppose you're carrying a crowbar by any chance?' 'I've made a note to make sure I always carry one in the future,' Lefty bleated. 'Mum's got one she doesn't use anymore.' 'Excellent!' Flossie cried. 'Positive thinking etcetera etcetera but really need it now. Did we happen to pass a kiosk of an itinerant crow bar vendor as we started up the old cliff path?' 'Didn't see one,' Lefty said. 'No, neither did I,' Flossie bleated. 'Thought it was a bit of a long shot. Clutching at straws really but, you know, desperate times...' ...

'And so, Monsieur Cyril, I thank you for noticing ma change in lipstick.' 'A pleasure,' Cyril replied and he doffed his bowler. 'But if I might move on to more serious things?' Norma interrupted. 'I suppose it would be asking too much for you to just let us know where you are and what you're up to on these occasions?' 'My right hand lady has been kept fully aware of all developments,' Cyril replied. Geraldine lent over the top of Norma's hat and gave her umbrella a little shake. 'How foolish of me not to have guessed,' Norma sighed. 'No harm done,' Cyril replied. 'What did you think of the cake?' 'I felt that an unnecessary amount of the fruit 'ad sunk to the bottom but otherwise it was most enjoyable, with a fine texture and excellent all around flavour,' Camille commented. 'And you really didn't ask them to make it?' Norma asked. 'Hoof on heart,' Cyril replied....