Cow Island

'I'm not sure what to say,' Norma said. 'I think my version looks more intelligent,' Bertha replied. 'No comment,' Norma commented. 'I should have made a better job of sewing his head on though.' 'It is a little disconcerting seeing them separately,' Norma replied. 'You realise this would make a better captain?' Bertha suggested. 'It doesn't pretend to think, never talks about rope and has just as good a grasp of how to sail a ship.' Norma thought that a little cruel. 'I'm just being honest!' Bertha mooed. 'To a fault,' Norma replied. 'Could you hold him for me while I sew him back together?' And Norma said she could. So Bertha rolled out a very impressive collection of needles and chose which one to use. 'And then you're going to fire staples at it?' Norma asked as Bertha sewed. 'For a while.'  Norma sighed a particularly long sigh. 'He s...

'I'm sure I've got some thread here that's the right colour,' said Norma, 'and you think you've got a problem with one of the 'n's as well?' 'Yes,' replied Captain Bill and he held up his knitted compass and pointed at an N that had come loose. 'I really aught to knit you another one some time,' said Norma. 'I'm fine with this one,' replied Captain Bill. 'But at least then you'd have a spare,' said Norma. 'I've seen some lovely designs. More modern.' Captain Bill looked slightly uneasy. 'I've still got the old pattern,' added Norma. Captain Bill looked relieved. 'Found it!' mooed Norma and she held up a reel of deep rose coloured thread. 'Now which needle?' Captain Bill was about to feel faint at the mention of the word 'needle' when he was distracted by the arrival of Bertha. 'Right,' she began, 'I've drawn up a manifes...

'No!' mooed Norma, 'That's the bits box. I want the big bits box.' 'But I thought that was the big bits box?' said Horace. 'No it's just the bits box,' replied Norma. 'So where's the big bits box?' asked Horace. 'It's by the bits box,' replied Norma. 'But I thought this was the bigger one?' said Horace. 'No,' replied Norma., 'the big bits box is bigger than that that's why it's called the big bits box!' But?' began Horace. 'In my berth by the bunting but before the baskets is the big bits box which was next to the bits box...before you brought it up here,' replied Norma. 'Baskets?' said Horace. 'The baskets!' replied Norma.  'And what's in those?' asked Horace. 'Ooooooh!' replied Norma. 'Buttons mostly!' 'So do you want me to take this back then?' said Horace. 'Yes please,' replied Norma, ...