Cow Island

'Lost!' wailed Captain Bill, 'Lost! Doomed! Condemmed to wander until the ends of the.......Sea...Ocean...thing!' The Calves and Camille looked at Captain Bill. 'So you 're trying to tell us that we 're lost?' asked Camille. 'I've been trying to keep it from you,' replied Captain Bill dejectedly, 'but what's the use! You'll have to know at some time! ' 'But we 'ave been steering Not North,' said Camille. 'Well it must have moved!' replied Captain Bill, 'it does that....you spend years working out where it is and then it drifts a bit! I said years ago we should have tied Annie to it! You can't lose her no matter how hard you try!' And for a while nobody said anything until Camille felt someone tapping on her side. 'Well,' she began, 'I don't know if it will 'elp but ma little student Etienne 'ere, he says maybe now is the time to give a tug on the rope so Norma and pull us...

'Which is why,' said Captain Bill, 'even on a flat calm sea, with the wind below 3 knots and everyone on lookout duty, you should never let Annie have a go at steering!' At this point the calves all jotted things down in little notebooks. 'And did it take long for you to get the 'Pickled 'eifer' back out of the library?' asked Camille. 'Oh, a month or two,' replied Captain Bill, 'only a few scratches really!........and a new mast........and a new hull...and decking.' And more notes were made. 'I don't want to bother you too much,' said Camille, 'but ma little student, Jean Claude, he would like to confirm please, when a boat is in fog, should you give, at not more than one minute intervals, audible blasts, once when on a starboliarboliboard tack or twice and only once when on a port tack?' Captain Bill looked back at Camille and then at Jean Claude and then back at Camille. 'I think it depends on what sort of ...

'Look,' said Captain Bill, 'in view of your recent behaviour, would you mind sitting at the other end of the boat?' 'I am,' replied Cyril. 'Oh udders!' said Captain Bill. Captain Bill, Norma, Bertha, Annie, Horace, Geraldine... and Cyril were all sitting in one very, very small boat, which apart from containing six cows and a penguin also had a considerable number of purchases stored about it. 'Well I think we'll just have to put a brave face on it and make the very best out of the situation that we can,' said Norma with a little smile. 'I don't suppose we have been left with much choice!' replied Bertha, who gave Cyril a very stern look. 'Any sign of anything?' Captain Bill asked her but Bertha replied that there wasn't. 'The trouble is,' said Bertha, 'is that I'm not really that high up.' And she wasn't. 'I guess,' said Captain Bill, 'that I always knew it would come to this one da...