Cow Island

'Well pointy sword or no pointy sword, I'm not bothered!' bleated Flossie. 'If we have to run we have to run!' 'You'll hear no disagreement from me!' replied Lefty. 'We need to get this crown business over and done with!' 'The lads feel the same way!' replied Lefty. And the flock all gave a rather gasping running cheer. 'And you're certain that you saw her?' 'It was only for a moment,' replied Lefty, 'but it was her alright! A second sighting of her royal personage and no mistake! Although obviously she didn't have a crown on.' 'I wish I'd seen her myself!' continued Flossie, 'only I found myself momentarily distracted by what appeared to be a mad pirate doing a waltz.' Hooky tapped twice. 'I polka then!' corrected Flossie. 'The whole jamboree's been very strange!' replied Lefty. 'Maybe give it a miss next year?' suggested Flossie. ...

'And there's nothing left! mooed Captain Bill. 'Nothing! Nothing at all!' 'OK!' replied Horace. 'Not even the carpets!' continued Captain Bill. 'I don't think there's anything I can do about it!' said Horace. 'I'm not asking you to do anything about it!' said Captain Bill. 'I'm just telling you!' 'I've not been back to the ship for ages,' replied Horace. 'Well your cabin's fine! Everyone else's is fine! It's just mine! Even the porthole's gone...and the ceiling!' '................................Right!' said Horace. 'So what's happening here? Norma said I should come and help.' 'I've got to wave a flag.' said Horace. 'And you need help with that?' 'Norma seemed to think I might.' 'And what about this painting?' '..............................................................I may have knocked ...

'I see the fruit cakes have flown south early this winter,' whispered Bertha. 'Excellent!' replied Cyril, 'That can only help me with the strict diet that I have so recently embarked on.' 'You know I'm not convinced that we need these passwords!' mooed Bertha. 'They're certainly not accurate!' replied Cyril. 'I'll have to speak to Norma about them,' said Bertha. 'She does have a tendency to get carried away with these things.' 'So any news?' asked Cyril. 'Nothing so far,' replied Bertha. 'And you?' 'Sold a couple of nice rugs.' 'Where did you get them from?' 'He'll never miss them,' replied Cyril. 'Besides we've got to make contacts.' 'And have you?' 'Got talking to a giraffe,' replied Cyril. 'He applied for a post with Flossie a while back. Didn't get the job, he's got a bit of a grudge, could be use...

'And so port is?' asked Norma. 'On the left?' suggested Captain Bill. 'Correct!' mooed Norma,'which means the starboard is?' 'On the right!' replied Captain Bill. 'Excellent!' said Norma,'that's 3 times out of 3. I really think you're starting to get the hang of it!' 'It's easier when you're not in a pressure situation, ' conceded Captain Bill. 'Indeed!' replied Norma,'now any questions?' 'What about starboliaboliboard?' asked Captain Bill. 'Sorry?' said Norma. 'Well if port is on the left and this new starboard thing is on the right, where have they put starboliarboliboard?' Norma thought for a while. 'They've replaced it,' she said at last,'...with starboard.' 'Right!' replied Captain Bill,'I wonder why they didn't tell me? Well I think that just about clears it up. Port on the left, starboard on the right...and then ...