Cow Island

'Thank you Norman,' Bertha mooed. 'Anytime,' Norman replied. 'And you know what you're doing next?' Norma asked him. And Norman assured them that he did and he hurried away. 'Could I just ask,' Camille began, 'this thing that you 'ave just 'ad Monsieur Norman bring from your ship...what is it?' 'You can have a guess if you want?' Bertha teased. 'Well,' Camille continued, 'if I were some sort of strange and deranged individual I could perhaps imagine that it was some kind of giant stapling machine.' 'If you have any gold stars in your handbag you may award yourself one,' Bertha replied. As it turned out Camille didn't so she couldn't but as luck would have it Norma did have some in the bottom of her knitting bag and so she gave one to Camille. 'Would One also get a gold star if One was to correctly guess what it is to be used for?' Queen Phoebe asked. And Bertha sai...

'It's still firing too high,' Bertha observed. 'I think I need to adjust the rear sight.' 'I must say,' Norma said, 'I've not seen a stapler with sights before.' 'I suppose not, 'Bertha replied. 'I had to make them myself. Could you just put the safety back on for me?' Norma helpfully pressed a little lever. 'Nor a safety catch,' she added. 'Seemed best to have one,' Bertha replied. 'And isn't it traditional that the staples fire downward rather than out the front?' Norma asked. 'Could be,' Bertha mooed, 'but that wasn't going to work for me.' Norma drew in a heavy breath. 'You don't think you're over reacting?' she asked. 'He started it!' Bertha replied. 'Still,' Norma said. 'Still,' Bertha replied, '...he started it!' 'But does that have to mean?' 'Yes!'  'Couldn't you?' '...

'That has got to be the biggest stapler I have ever seen!' Norma exclaimed. 'I had to have it made to order,' Bertha replied. 'I would have made it myself but my welding equipment's broken. Now, if you and Horace could stand by on the ropes until I say when.' So Norma and Horace stood ready until Bertha shouted 'Now!' and then they pulled with all their might, which in Horace's case wasn't an awful lot, and the stapler slid graciously out of the shipping container.  'Can I go now?' Horace asked. Norma's horns fell. 'I thought, she said, 'that we'd agreed to have lunch together?' 'It's just,' Horace replied, 'after you told me about Captain Bill's marquee, I thought I might go and stand in it for a while.' 'Why?' Norma asked. 'It sounds depressing,' Horace replied. 'But,' Norma began, but she could see that Horace had a point. '.............if y...