Cow Island

'That was quite possibly the best cream tea I've ever had,' Cyril said. 'Which one?' Annie asked. Cyril consulted his score book.  'Number 173,' he replied. 'I felt the balance between cream and jam almost perfect. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that the only thing it really lacked was more cream...and jam......and maybe a side order of extra cream....with more jam...and a couple of hundred more scones. How was the ice cream?' 'It was strawbleberry,' Annie mooed. 'I did 3 lengths of backstroke but after that there was only enough left to paddle in.' 'Wonderful!' Cyril replied. 'Now, any luck with the choccie biccies?' 'No,' Horace said. 'Shame,' Cyril replied. 'Have a cream tea.' 'I can't,' Horace said, 'you've eaten them all.' 'Oh!' Cyril mooed. 'How sad! You should have been here earlier on.' 'I was,' Horace replied, ...

'Lefty!' called out Flossie. '......................Lefty!' 'Yes?' 'Where are you?' 'Over here!' 'Right!.....................................Where's that?' 'Errrrrrrrrrrrr...now you ask?' 'Can you see me?' 'Where are you?' 'I'm here!' '........................................................................................No!' 'OK!' bleated Flossie. 'On paper it was a good idea, I approved it, my responsibility, but, got to be honest, it's not panned out.' 'I should have done a full feasibility study,' replied Lefty, 'and a proper risk assessment.' 'Never enough time,' said Flossie. 'Now being practical...hang on! Did you hear that?' 'What?' 'That splash!' 'Was it a splash?' 'I thought it was a splash?' 'Mum!..............................Mum?' 'Stay calm,...

'It is NOT a pirate costume!' continued Captain Bill. 'It is simply proper bathing attire.' 'That just happens to make you look like a pirate,' replied Bertha. 'It does a bit,' agreed Norma. 'I suspect it creates an air of sophistication that you two would find difficult to comprehend!' replied Captain Bill. 'Still makes you look like a pirate,' said Bertha. 'I shall ignore you,' replied Captain Bill. And he did. 'Sorry,' said Bertha after a while. 'Accepted,' replied Captain Bill. 'So...' continued Bertha, 'if I asked really nicely....would you....would you say 'yo ho ho'?' Captain Bill turned to Norma. 'Could you,' he asked, 'kindly inform your friend that I am one step away from abandoning this whole affair and that her contribution is not helping.' 'I will,' replied Norma, '.....................................although if you are...

'....Boarding ships, swinging on ropes, duelling to the death,' replied Cyril, 'at least that's what it says on the posters.' 'No mention of cake then?' asked Annie. 'Or ice creams,' replied Cyril. 'I shall probably not become one then,' said Annie. 'Smart move!' said Cyril. 'By the way, have you seen the other ice creams? They still don't seem to have arrived!' 'I haven't seen anything for a while.' replied Annie. 'So you haven't!' said Cyril. 'I suppose it must be because the days are getting shorter now?' 'Possibly a factor,' agreed Cyril. But then he reached over and removed what was left of the inflatable ring from Annie's head. 'Oooooooh!' mooed Annie. 'Morning already!' 'Must be time for breakfasts then,' suggested Cyril. 'How many?' asked Annie. 'To tell the truth,' replied Cyril, 'those ice creams ha...

'But,' began Captain Bill, 'would we be better off just pausing for a while and asking ourselves, do we really need to do this? 'Yes we do,' replied Bertha. 'Off you go!' Captain Bill hesitated. 'It might just ...wash ashore?' he suggested. 'No,' replied Bertha, 'it's the Mootilus, it's sunk, it needs a rope attaching to it...off you go!' 'Why me?' asked Captain Bill. 'Because you're a brave, heroic, duel fighting captain,' replied Bertha. 'Off you go!' 'Cyril would have more buoyancy.' 'But I need Cyril to help to pull it ashore,' replied Bertha. 'Off you go!' 'And why have you tied the rope around my neck?' asked Captain Bill. 'You wouldn't want to drop it halfway,' replied Bertha, 'that would be a waste of everyones time...off you go!' 'But?' began Captain Bill. 'It's getting very close to pointy stick time,...