Cow Island

Captain Bill fell through the cool night air. He spent so long falling that in the end he got bored with screaming and simply passed the time thinking of ways in which he would have got his own back on Cyril..if he'd lived to do so. He managed to come up with 37 different ideas before he hit the hayrick. He went quite a long way into it before it's springiness lifted him back into the air and for a brief moment he was airborne again. But then he fell for a 2nd time and landed on some bales of hay...and then bounced once more before finally landing with a thud on the damp grass. For a while he lay doing nothing. He'd never quite seen the point before in why Annie bothered to count her legs but now he gave it a go and found he still had 4...and 2 horns and a tail. This he found pleasing. He was just about to try standing when he became aware of the sound of the rumble of hooves which were moving in his direction. They stopped in the dark a little way from him an...

In the still of the night the pirate balloon floated on. 'Right lads,' bleated Lefty,'careful now!' And another sheep pushed a small lever and the balloon sank lower. 'Island approaching! called out a 3rd sheep. 'Excellent!' muttered Lefty,'soon be home!' 'Erm! Excuse me!' said a sheep in a captain's hat. 'Excuse me, could I just come past, thank you.' And now he stood before Lefty. 'I was just wondering, would there be any chance that you could drop me off first?' 'Drop you off?' replied Lefty. 'Indeed,' said Captain Bill,'before you all get too involved with the whole arriving at your evil pirate lair thing...if you could just...divert a bit?' Lefty looked at Captain Bill. 'Have we met before?' he asked. 'No!' replied Captain Bill. 'No, no, not been aboard long really.' 'And now...you want to leave?' said Lefty. 'Well you know what it's like,' replie...

Ello subjects! Your Queen speaking! You'll be glad to hear (you will, remember we have plenty of dungeons) that I've collected his little Crownness (isn't he adorable, One don't know how One survived without 'im) and we've switched to his biggest ship. All of which means it's pirate sheep stomping time! 'Brave King rescues grateful poor people.' I think that's the sort of headline we're looking for...and perhaps a few pages of photos in the Sunday's...although experience would suggest that we should settle for anything what don't call for a revolution. The problem is they don't realise what his little Kingshipfulness has to deal with! He's had to cancel 3 garden parties and a brace of banquets just to be 'ere! (cue 'King don't bother turning up' editorial). They seem to think all he has to do is wander around in a big robe wearing a crown. They don't get to see the behind the scenes stuff. I mean, h...

'And so,'said Norma, while nibbling on a bit of cake,'Bertha and I thought it might be a good idea not to get too close for the moment.' 'To give me more time to write poetry?' asked Horace. 'Er...possibly!' replied Norma. 'We just thought you aught to know what we'd decided,' said Bertha, 'Norma has persuaded me that we shouldn't just go rushing in and I can see her point. After all we need to work together even more than usual, seeing as there are only the four of us at the moment.' 'And Geraldine!' mooed Annie. 'Indeed!' said Norma. And here Geraldine stood up and did a little dance before laying down again. 'And it'll be safer for Captain Bill and Cyril if we keep our distance,' said Norma. 'I miss Mr Sir Cyril,' said Annie,' and Captain......Thingy.' 'We all do,' said Norma,'it can't be much fun being on a balloon full of pirate sheep.' 'Unless they...

'But what are we going to do?' pleaded Captain Bill. 'Well,' replied Cyril,'the first thing I'm going to do....is have another one of these grass sandwiches.' 'How can you possibly think of food at a time like this?' hissed Captain Bill. Cyril stared at Captain Bill. 'OK!' conceded Captain Bill,'silly question!' 'Pirate sheep they maybe,' replied Cyril,'but you've got to give them credit, they still make a very fine grass sandwich. I particularly admire the way they've replaced the outer bread layers with yet more grass.' 'So it's just grass then?' said Captain Bill. 'Hmm?' munched Cyril. 'Well,' continued Captain Bill,'if they've replaced the bread with more grass it's just grass...it's not a sandwich at all!' 'Possibly to the untrained eye it might appear that way,' said Cyril,'but at a deeper level it still retains much of it's sandwichness...

Hello everyone, Norma here! As you might already have seen yesterday, the good news is that we're up and away. The bad news is that the sheep, together with Cyril and Captain bill, are just a speck on the horizon. We're doing everything we can to put on some speed but it's not going to be easy. In further news, Queen Phoebe has set sail. Her Queenladyship is going via home to pick up her hubbie (isn't he lovely) and will then catch us up. She did offer to leave Norman with us but we need to stay as light as possible. So anyway, I do hope you all have a nice weekend. Maybe you could go out for a walk or perhaps a picnic? Whatever you do please don't worry yourselves too much about Ms Camille and her little students......or Captain Bill.....or Cyril...or the life or death situation that they all find themselves in. I'm sure it'll all turn out well in the end. Bye, hugs, bye Norma PS If you do spot a large pirate sheep laden balloon passing overhead do...

PUPPETS So gather round Young Annie dear And listen to A tale of fear A story told Of pirate sheep That could deprive you Of your sleep Of cutlasses And daggers too Of captains And some minimoos A story that's So awful scary It could make Your tail curly A plot packed full Of thrills and chases And one or two Exotic places On luck and courage We shall depend If we're to have A happy end! Thank you Horace