Cow Island

'I really am very sorry about this,' said Norma, 'but if we don't start now...' 'That's OK,' replied Annie. 'It's just, you know I've never been any good at this,' continued Norma. 'You need to have the right ears,' replied Annie, 'if you don't have the right ears you don't stand much chance at all.' And so for a while Norma and Annie herded along. Until eventually they reached, what seemed to be, the right place. 'Right,' said Norma, 'well what about that one?' Annie went towards a particularly fine looking specimen. 'Hello Mr Tree,' she mooed, 'can we borrow you for Christmas?' 'Well?' asked Norma. 'No!' replied Annie, 'it's going to be busy.' 'Really?' said Norma. 'Family commitments,' replied Annie. 'Pity,' said Norma and they moved on a little way. 'Hello Mr Tree,' said Annie, 'can we borrow you for Christmas?'...

'And so,' began Annie, 'if we have one very large cake and we add another very large cake, what do we have?' Cyril waved his tail. 'Not enough cake?' Annie herded towards him. 'Have you been looking in my answer book?' she asked. Cyril shook his head. 'Hmm,' said Annie, 'well it's the right answer. I may have to make you cake monitor.' And Cyril reluctantly agreed to take on the extra responsibility. Annie was just about to ask a follow up question about sticky toffee pudding when Norma arrived. 'How's it going?' she asked. 'Very well thank you,' replied Annie, 'I thought a trial lesson might help me to get a better idea of what's involved.' 'Excellent!' said Norma,'although this might not be quite how it would actually be in reality.' 'Reality?' asked Annie. 'Another day,' replied Norma, 'the point is and I don't want to take you away from this but it's th...

I'm just a bit worried about her,' said Norma. 'I'd be more worried for her students,' replied Captain Bill. 'Imagine your first day at school and finding that you've got her as a teacher!' 'I mean I know she means well,' continued Norma. Captain Bill stopped walking and looked out over the sea. 'It's just a passing thing,' he said. 'Give it a couple of weeks and she'll be building fridges out of dandelions.....again!' 'Perhaps,' replied Norma, 'but I have a feeling she's serious about it.' Captain Bill thought for a while. 'I'm not sure I could cope with that.' 'Well you might have to.' said Norma. 'Still I'll try and divert her for a bit...we'll need to pick out a Christmas tree soon.' 'Really?' asked Captain Bill. 'It's only a few weeks away now,' said Norma, 'I'll have to start wrapping presents soon.' 'Yesssssss,' replied...

I HAVE TRAVELLED I have travelled I have travelled to meet friends So that I might see them And talk a while And enjoy the pleasure Of their company I have travelled I have travelled to see And at times The things that I have seen Have been so beautiful That tears of joy Have run freely down my face For I could never have imagined Such things could exist I have travelled I have travelled to learn And in so doing Have grown and changed And lost a little of the ignorance That holds me so close I have travelled But sometimes Sometimes I think I have travelled For the sole purpose of returning home My home is small and plain And what little happens there Would interest but a few But it is my home And I love it so Thank you Horace

'No I wasn't saying it was a bad idea,' mooed Norma, 'I was just saying that the commercial openings for an emergency penguin rescue ladder might be a bit limited.' 'A 'biodegradable' emergency penguin rescue ladder,' corrected Annie. 'Of course,' replied Norma, 'but I still think it might be best to hold off from full scale production until you've more thoroughly tested the market.' 'Hmm,' said Annie, 'perhaps you're right. Anyway, I probably wouldn't have enough time to run a large multinational and be a teacher at the same time.' 'I suspect it would have to be one or the other,' replied Norma. 'Unless I taught the minimoos how to make them. Ms Camille said that you can do that sort of thing and pass it off as some kind of after school club.' 'I'm not sure that would be legal,' replied Norma. 'Perhaps I should ask my lawyer?' said Annie. 'You do know Cyril ...

'But you gave the sign,' said Bertha. 'We hadn't agreed on a sign!' gasped Captain Bill. 'Cyril and I had,' replied Bertha. 'You could have told me!' said Captain Bill. Bertha thought about this. 'That would have taken a lot of the fun out of it,' she replied. Cyril nodded in agreement. 'And that was the reason for sending me out there was it?' asked Captain Bill, 'so you two could have fun!' 'Well it was mostly so we could get the Mootilus back,' replied Bertha, 'but it was nice to have a bit of fun at the same time.' 'Speaking for myself,' said Cyril, 'I'd say it was more about the fun.' 'Really?' said Bertha. 'Mmm,' replied Cyril, 'I'd say, roughly speaking, 85-90% fun, 10% general helping.' 'It's interesting isn't it,' said Bertha, 'how people can work side by side on the same project and yet have totally different motives.' 'I co...

'A TEACHER!' mooed Norma. Annie nodded. 'I think there's quite a bit involved.' continued Norma. 'You have to take things from your head and put them into other people's heads,' said Annie. 'Well....yes,' replied Norma, 'but I think you have to be very careful as to which things.' 'Camille said she'd never met anyone with more things in their head than me,' said Annie. 'Quite possibly true,' replied Norma, 'it's just....well.' 'I know what you're thinking,' said Annie, 'you're thinking that if I take all the things in my head and put them into other people's heads then my head will be empty.' 'It would be a concern,' agreed Norma. 'But if I make a copy of what I'm teaching and then eat it at the end of the day I'll still have it!' mooed Annie and she did a little dance. 'Erm,' replied Norma, 'possibly....anyway perhaps you could have a go...