Cow Island

Captain Bill drew in a long deep breath.  Gentle Spring sunshine warmed his horns and a bee buzzed lazily around his tail hat. He watched with growing sense of unease as Norma herded toward him. 'Wonderful news!' she cried. 'Bertha's fallen off a cliff?' suggested Captain Bill. Norma sighed, 'Do you have to be like that?' Captain Bill thought for a while. '.........................Probably,' he replied. 'So, what is it really, this wonderful news for which we shall all be truly grateful?' 'It's The Great Pencil,' replied Norma, 'he's had it!' 'Well, I've been saying that for years.' 'I mean,' said Norma, 'that he's finally had an idea for our next adventure!' Captain Bill felt slightly ill. 'So we can all be together again,' added Norma. 'Excuse me while I spontaneously explode with excitement,' muttered Captain Bill. '...

'And if you like that I'll make you a full sized one,' Cyril said. Annie took a slurp through her straw. 'It's scrummy! How many strawbleberries did you put in?' she asked. 'All of them,' Cyril replied, 'and then some more.' 'Yippee!' Annie mooed. 'That's exactly what the recipe calls for. I may have a paddle in it later on.'  'A brilliant idea!' 'And then I might have a nap....adventures are very tiring.' 'That's why you shouldn't go on them all that often,' Cyril replied. 'The excitement of them can get dangerously close to exercise and no good can come of that.' 'Wise words,' Annie said. 'From now on I shall only go on an adventure when there's a W in the month....and a Q.....and 4 Ms.' And while you're waiting for Wqmmmmtober to come around?' 'Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?' Annie replied. 'I think I shall just ...

'So I thrust, then I parried, then I parried again and then I thrust...and a fourth one went down.' 'Right,' Camille replied, 'and you managed all of this while you were 'iding under a table?' '..................................I lured them in.' 'Really?' 'The confined space made it easier for me to deal with them. You know a lot of people don't understand the finer points of duel fighting.' 'I guess some would mistake your 'iding for cowardice?' 'Sadly.' 'I suppose I am lucky to 'ave you 'ear to explain it all then.' 'Modesty forbids! But if you'd like me to give a class to your little students? Pass on a little of my knowledge?' 'If only we 'ad the time but sadly I fear the moment approaches for us to depart.' 'Of course! You need to get back. The demands of education call.' 'Also it is nearly the end of term and unless I remind the ...

'They don't seem anywhere near as threatening when One gets up close to them,' Queen Phoebe mused. 'There's many a captain has made that mistake,' Norma replied. 'A pirate sheep should always be treated with caution.' 'I suppose so,' Queen Phoebe said. 'Are you sure you want to take them with you?' Norma asked. 'Well, they need to be detained for the safety of the law abiding public...and One does have plenty of spare dungeons......and it is One's hubby's birthday soon and was hasn't got him a prezzie yet.' 'I'm not sure you can wrap a pirate sheep?' 'Possibly not, but I'll get a servant to have a go.' 'And, despite my wariness about them, you won't be putting the lambs in a dungeon will you?' 'Not if they promise to behave. I did think they could help Norman with washing the castle windows. They are about the size of a sponge.' 'I'd like to th...

'Your mum's a diamond,' Flossie bleated. 'She's surprised even me this time,' Lefty replied. 'When we get home I'm going to get her...well...actually, what does your mum like?' 'I'm never sure,' Lefty sighed. 'She's very difficult to buy for. When they get to that age they never seem to want for much.' 'Well, whatever she decides on. She's saved our lives and no mistake.' 'I didn't know she could pilot a balloon. She's never mentioned it.' 'I bet there's a lot we don't know about your mum.' 'Possibly a lot I wouldn't want to know!' And Flossie and Lefty laughed. '.........................................................Pity we couldn't get everyone in,' Lefty said. 'We won't be abandoning them,' Flossie replied. 'I don't care how long it takes, we'll go back for them. We're a flock...a family. We'll be tog...

'It'sssssssssssssssssss quite wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiindy up here,' Flossie bleated. Lefty nodded. 'Strictly speaking we shouldn't have come up without making a full risk assessment first.' 'Think it's a bit too late for that this time around,' Flossie replied. 'Perhaps I should start carrying a couple of safety harnesses just in case?' 'Feel free to bring it up at the next management meeting.' 'Will do!' '.............................................Good view though. Reminds me of being at the top of a mainsail.' 'Back in the good old days!' 'Yer! I think next time we'll have to get back to some old fashioned pirating.' 'I'm sure the flock would be right behind you.' '....................................................................Sorry it's all gone wrong again.' 'Not your fault,' Lefty replied. 'Appreciate your support,' Flo...

'And I luffs them both very much so it will be a difficult decision,' Annie mooed. 'OK!' Norma replied. '..................................What will?' 'Should I marry Viscount Sir Lord Cyril or a strawbleberry trifle? They have quite a few things in common. They're colourful, make me happy and can usually be found at the back of a fridge.' 'Right,' Norma said, 'maybe we could discuss this at a later date? At the moment I was hoping you could try to answer some real world type questions?' 'We can give it a go,' Annie replied, 'but you know the risks. It might be wise for me to lay down first?' So Annie laid down and Norma asked her first question. 'Where exactly is Cyril?' 'Last time I saw him he appeared to be playing kiss chase with some of the fluffies...maybe a trifle would be more loyal?' 'And Captain Bill?' '.....................................................Neve...