Cow Island

'Afternoon!' Norman trumpeted. 'Norman!' Norma mooed. 'How lovely to see you!' 'Same to yourselves,' Norman replied. 'I thought you might turn up. I take it you saw the bit about free hats?' 'Might have,' Norma said and she blushed a little. 'Possibly,' Bertha added without blushing at all. 'So, Norma continued, 'I have to say you're looking very....well...very?' 'I'm a castle,' Norman explained. 'Ah!' Norma said. 'That explains it!' 'For the film?' Bertha asked. And Norman nodded. 'You're very convincing,' Norma continued. 'From a distance I thought...' 'People have been kind enough to say so,' Norman replied. 'I'm not surprised,' Bertha added. 'Of course the makeup helps,' Norman replied. 'Is that eye shadow?' Bertha asked. 'Just a smidge,' Norman said. 'And it's nice to be ...

'Have to be honest,' bleated Flossie, 'slightly lost for words.' 'Bonjour,' said Camille. Flossie and Lefty looked at each other and then at Camille. '........................................Afternoon,' replied Flossie. 'You are, I am suspecting, strangers to these parts?' said Camille. '........................Might be,' replied Flossie. 'We come in peace,' added Lefty. 'Although it is a heavily armed, pointy sword version.' 'You are not running with them, I 'ope?' asked Camille. And Lefty assured her that they were not. 'And your reason for being here?' asked Flossie. 'I am stood, standing 'ere, at this spot for no particular reason,' replied Camille. 'Why do you ask?' 'Just seems a bit...odd!' said Flossie. 'Perhaps to you' replied Camille. 'But it is the custom of ma people to stand around in isolated places waiting to assist passin...

'Could be a coincidence,' mooed Norma. 'Have you actually read the article?' asked Captain Bill. 'Well......,' replied Norma. 'And in particular I'm referring to the 'twenty ton block of granite still missing' paragraph,' continued Captain Bill. 'I confess I hadn't got that far,' replied Norma. 'You possibly stopped at the 'very, very large person seen running from scene' section?' suggested Captain Bill. 'But the description!' replied Norma. 'Bowler hat!.....Moustache! That doesn't sound like Cyril and besides he's got a receipt for the block that he got us.' 'Writen in crayon!' said Captain Bill calmly, 'which also contains a drawing of Geraldine with the legend, 'I love pengimings' attached to it.' 'I'm sure Annie's innocent...ish,' replied Norma. 'When I get hold of him!' mooed Captain Bill. 'You'll what?'...