For all your pirate financial news

'Har! Har! Har! Give me the preliminary financial figures, fully accepting that they may be revised and amended at a later date, and be quick about it. Har! Har! Har!.............How was that?' 

'Oh, I liked it,' Lefty replied. 'Piratey but also fiscally responsible at the same time.'

'That's what I wanted,' Flossie bleated, 'but I wasn't sure I'd managed it?'

'I don't think you need have any fears,' Lefty said. 'Anyway, overall it's been a strong performance so far with most areas doing as well as or better than expected.'

'Fantastic!'

'There's a couple of places where we're not shoveling in the spondulicks as quickly as I'd hoped but we did have some higher than expected start up costs.'

'Bound to happen. I see you've moved Harriet to snacks?'

'We were short, she offered and we had spoken about widening her role.'

'Good for her! I'm sure she'll cope admirably...providing we give her the required support.'

'I did have to send her on a food hygiene course. That was one of the extra costs.'

'Well worth it though. As each member of the team grows, then so the whole flock grows and benefits. Anything else?'

'Just wondered how you feel about the trolley? It came free with some furniture that we stole and I know you enjoyed your time on the washing machine.'

Hmm,' Flossie replied, 'nice idea but not sure it's me really? I feel it would be better if I achieved my status within the flock via hard work and a proven track record of intelligent decision making...rather than just standing on something that makes me taller.'

'Should we lose it?'

'I think so. Thanks for letting me try it out though.'