Wednesday, 10 August 2016

It ends wiv luff and trifle

'And if you like that I'll make you a full sized one,' Cyril said.

Annie took a slurp through her straw.

'It's scrummy! How many strawbleberries did you put in?' she asked.

'All of them,' Cyril replied, 'and then some more.'

'Yippee!' Annie mooed. 'That's exactly what the recipe calls for. I may have a paddle in it later on.'

 'A brilliant idea!'

'And then I might have a nap....adventures are very tiring.'

'That's why you shouldn't go on them all that often,' Cyril replied. 'The excitement of them can get dangerously close to exercise and no good can come of that.'

'Wise words,' Annie said. 'From now on I shall only go on an adventure when there's a W in the month....and a Q.....and 4 Ms.'

And while you're waiting for Wqmmmmtober to come around?'

'Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?' Annie replied. 'I think I shall just have to busy myself with sleeping, strawbleberry trifle eating, paddling and counting my legs.'

'A perfect life!' Cyril mooed. 'I shall leave you to it.'

And Cyril made sure that Annie was well tucked in and then he made his way across the field...but he stopped every now and again to wave his tail and, at first, Annie waved back. But he hadn't got all that far before Annie had fallen asleep. Then Cyril wandered back, took a slurp of trifle, kissed Annie on her nose and then finally went on his way.

And so my friends another Cow Island story reaches its end. Thank you so much for reading, without you it is nothing. The cast will return at some point in the future...until then....much love.

The Great Pencil

Tuesday, 9 August 2016

A captain makes his report

'So I thrust, then I parried, then I parried again and then I thrust...and a fourth one went down.'

'Right,' Camille replied, 'and you managed all of this while you were 'iding under a table?'

'..................................I lured them in.'


'The confined space made it easier for me to deal with them. You know a lot of people don't understand the finer points of duel fighting.'

'I guess some would mistake your 'iding for cowardice?'


'I suppose I am lucky to 'ave you 'ear to explain it all then.'

'Modesty forbids! But if you'd like me to give a class to your little students? Pass on a little of my knowledge?'

'If only we 'ad the time but sadly I fear the moment approaches for us to depart.'

'Of course! You need to get back. The demands of education call.'

'Also it is nearly the end of term and unless I remind the parents some of them will be forgetting to buy me presents.'

'Quelle horreur!'

'Well, until we meet again, I wish you well....and Mr Snail too.'

And so saying Camille embraced Captain Bill, kissed him on both horns, knocked off his hat, turned sharply catching him across the nose with her bag and, together with 'er little students, she made her way down towards the beach.

Monday, 8 August 2016

Can pirate sheep be reformed/

'They don't seem anywhere near as threatening when One gets up close to them,' Queen Phoebe mused.

'There's many a captain has made that mistake,' Norma replied. 'A pirate sheep should always be treated with caution.'

'I suppose so,' Queen Phoebe said.

'Are you sure you want to take them with you?' Norma asked.

'Well, they need to be detained for the safety of the law abiding public...and One does have plenty of spare dungeons......and it is One's hubby's birthday soon and was hasn't got him a prezzie yet.'

'I'm not sure you can wrap a pirate sheep?'

'Possibly not, but I'll get a servant to have a go.'

'And, despite my wariness about them, you won't be putting the lambs in a dungeon will you?'

'Not if they promise to behave. I did think they could help Norman with washing the castle windows. They are about the size of a sponge.'

'I'd like to think there's still a chance of reforming them, if they were treated well.'

'One will give it a bash!'

'And I do hope you have a safe and swift journey home. Give my regards to his kingshipfulness.'

'I shall. I have missed him so. Norman thinks we can sail home on one of the smaller islands, he's got it all worked out.

'Which only goes to prove,' Norma observed, 'that there is soooooooo much more to an elephant than just a trunk.'

Saturday, 6 August 2016

In the nick of time!

'You're mum's a diamond,' Flossie bleated.

'She's surprised even me this time,' Lefty replied.

'When we get home I'm going to get her.........well.....actually, what does your mum like?'

'I'm never sure,' Lefty sighed. 'She's very difficult to buy for. When they get to that age they never seem to want for much.'

'Well, whatever she decides on. She's saved our lives and no mistake.'

'I didn't know she could pilot a balloon. She's never mentioned it.'

'I bet there's a lot we don't know about your mum.'

'Possibly a lot I wouldn't want to know!'

And Flossie and Lefty laughed.

'.........................................................Pity we couldn't get everyone in,' Lefty said.

'We won't be abandoning them,' Flossie replied. 'I don't care how long it takes, we'll go back for them. We're a flock...a family. We'll be together again one day. I won't stop until it happens!'

Lefty sniffed a few times 'Have you got a handkerchief at all? I've....I've got a bit of grit in my eye.'

'Here,' Flossie replied, 'use my bow tie.'

So Lefty did. 

Friday, 5 August 2016

When pirate sheep get high

'It'sssssssssssssssssss quite wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiindy up here,' Flossie bleated.

Lefty nodded. 'Strictly speaking we shouldn't have come up without making a full risk assessment first.'

'Think it's a bit too late for that this time around,' Flossie replied.

'Perhaps I should start carrying a couple of safety harnesses just in case?'

'Feel free to bring it up at the next management meeting.'

'Will do!'

'.............................................Good view though. Reminds me of being at the top of a mainsail.'

'Back in the good old days!'

'Yer! I think next time we'll have to get back to some old fashioned pirating.'

'I'm sure the flock would be right behind you.'

'....................................................................Sorry it's all gone wrong again.'

'Not your fault,' Lefty replied.

'Appreciate your support,' Flossie said, 'but I'm the captain. The ultimate responsibility has to be mine.'

'Don't want to cause any problems............but I don't think I can hold on much longer.'

'Me neither.'

'Been nice serving under you.'

'Always a pleasure,' Flossie replied.