Of Pirate Sheep


All sheep are pirates! Over 97% of High Seas pirating is now carried out by sheep. So strong is their control of the business that antelope have been forced into banking fraud just to make a living. Never tell a sheep about the impending transport of cargo, they'll tuck you up every time! Of the various pirate flocks doing the rounds there's a quite clear market leader...



Top pirate! If you see the Mint Sauce approaching off the port bow you might as well just throw in the towel and haul down the sails. Rough, yet strangely cultured, with 4 wooden legs, a wooden tail and a wooden ear he's not to be messed with. Proud of his crew he does sometimes wish that they'd just give him a little more space but that's sheep for you. An old school pirate he seems to be finding life increasingly troubled by health and safety legislation. Now where to strike next?





Every good captain needs a 2nd in command and Flossie has to look no further than Lefty. They're more mates than crew members. Often singing from the same hymn sheet it's not often that they disagree. They know they can rely on each other and the fact that the swag keeps rolling in proves it. He's also a dab hoof with the increasing paperwork.






So severely disabled in a previous boarding that his entire head has been replaced by a hook he's still a valuable member of the crew and his incisive contributions should never be over looked.










Once a pirate, always a pirate. Will she ever retire? Also makes very good jam.











A working mum. Keen but a little too safety conscious. A pirate in a high vis jacket. Will things ever be the same again?









Small, there's no doubt about that and in that hat it's not easy to see him. But there's something about him that's just....well....unsettling!

1 comment: