Friday, 12 June 2009
'Right!,' said Captain Bill, 'are we ready? Beeeeeeeegin! Hup, down, hup, down, hup, down, hup, down, stretch those horn muscles, hup, down, hup, down, feel the pain, hup, down, hup, down, hup, down, hup, down.'
'Are we supposed to be doing something?' asked Annie.
'Are you supposed to be doing something!' replied Captain Bill, 'of course you're supposed to be doing something. You've got to get fit. If we're going to win back the Pickled Heifer you've got to become the perfect crew. That means constant exercise. From now on your body must become a temple. Every aspect of your lives must be bent towards eventual victory. And from now on,' he added, 'I want to make it quite clear that you're all limited to 7 breakfasts a day!'
'Right,' he continued, 'hup, down, hup, down, hup, down, hup, down...'
'Oh do give it a rest!' said Bertha.
'We should start with something gentle,' added Norma, 'so that we warm up.'
"We don't have time for that,' replied Captain Bill, 'this equipment wasn't easy to come by you know. We may have to give it back at any moment; we have to make a maximum effort now. Right, everybody by a rope, up and down 20 times, last to finish buys the grass cakes.'
'Where did it come from anyway?' asked Bertha.
'I don't know,' replied Captain Bill, 'Cyril 'found it'.'
And everyone looked at each other.