Tuesday, 28 July 2009

when the mail isn't!

A rather dejected Captain Bill was sitting on the beach, just below the Cow Island pier. He was surrounded by a very large number of sacks of mail. On his head, a small crab scampered down to the end of his nose and dropped off onto the topmost letter. It had done this several times already, but Captain Bill was comforted by the thought that at least someone was having fun.

'Hello!' said Norma, who had just that moment arrived.

'Oh, hello!' replied Captain Bill and he gave Norma a rather weak smile.

'Looks like an awful lot of post,' she said cheerfully.

'Mmm,' replied Captain Bill, '15 sacks!'

'Wonderful!' said Norma. 'So, many bookings for the museum then?'

'Well, roughly speaking,' replied Captain Bill, 'without recounting them, I'd say about...zero!'

'Oh dear!" said Norma, 'so that would mean that all these would be...'

'.....Horace's,' finished Captain Bill. '15 sacks.....7483 letters............rejecting the same poem!'

'Oh dear!' said Norma again, 'It just that's it's one of his favourites and he did have such high hopes for it. Perhaps I should encourage him to try something else?'

'Possibly,' replied Captain Bill, 'I mean, I'm no expert in these matters but I can't help thinking he might have a better chance if he tried a different publisher. I imagine this one must be getting pretty hacked off by now!'

'Mmmm,' said Norma in agreement.

'Still,' continued Captain Bill, 'sadly, it doesn't alter the fact that none of them are for me!'

'Yes,' agreed Norma and she looked into the nearest sack. 'Well except for this one!' and with that she picked a rather crumpled little letter out from between several others.

'Crikey!' said Captain Bill.


Anonymous said...

hmm, maybe horace's fans should write him some testimonials?

oh, and pls advise how i go about purchasing a season ticket for that wonderful rope museum? :)

Steven Allender said...

I'll have a word with Captain Bill. Maybe it would help if he printed some?!