'CAPTAIN INSPECTORS!' mooed Captain Bill.
'I'm afraid so,' replied Norma.
'But there's no such people!'
'Well there are according to this letter,' added Norma. 'It says here, "Following on from a recent complaint by an undisclosed royal personage..."'
'HA!' exclaimed Captain Bill.
'Undisclosed royal personage,' continued Norma,'regarding damage to their harbour wall..."'
'LIES!' shouted Captain Bill,'and anyway we'll take the bits back next time we visit...we always do!'
'"We have been requested to review your Captainy status. We shall be arriving shortly....probably next Monday, about 10am, please put the kettle on." and then it's signed at the bottom and there's a picture of a sailor dancing the hornpipe, it's quite well done, you can even see his little legs moving.'
'That,' said Captain Bill,'is of no importance. Anyway let'em come, they might learn a thing or two. I've got my hat and my eyepatch and my knitted compass and my crew, what more evidence of competence could they want?'
'A sea worthy ship?' suggested Norma.
'Good point!' said Captain Bill.
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