Thursday, 25 March 2010
'Well look thanks for coming,' said Captain Bill,'and do feel free to drop in again any time you're passing.'
Admiral Cholmondley Waldegrave St Clair looked at Captain Bill.
'For the last time,' he said,'we've not finished yet!'
'Right,' replied Captain Bill,'what'll it be then? Another slice of cake, a little more tea? I think there's still a drop left in the pot.'
The Admiral stepped towards Captain Bill and poked with a pokey finger.
'We've been here forever,' he began,' we've actually been aboard for over a week! We've had tea and cake and been treated to a display such as I've never seen in all my days AND WE'VE STILL NOT ACTUALLY SEEN THE SHIP MOVE!'
'OK!' squeaked Captain Bill,'no need to get upset. I'm not sure why we've not gone anywhere yet. I don't like to criticise Norma but...'
'IT'S GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH NORMA! THE WOMAN'S A SAINT!' bellowed the Admiral,'you're in charge, you're the captain, YOU SHOULD BE GIVING THE ORDERS!'
'Right!' said Captain Bill,'....erm! Raise something....perhaps?'
'What?' asked the Admiral.
Captain Bill thought very hard.
'The anchor?' he suggested.
'And?' pushed the Admiral.
'Bit of sail?' replied Captain Bill.
'One sleeve or two?' asked Horace.
'Two?' gasped Captain Bill.
And very, very slowly the Pickled Heifer started to move.