Friday, 10 September 2010
How to fight a duel
Flossie had hit the mast of the Mootilus and landed with a flop onto the deck.
There followed 'a moment' when all onboard had quietly taken in the new situation....it didn't last.
'You've made a hole on our sail!' mooed Captain Bill.
'Sorry about that!' bleated Flossie,'recoil on Gertie was a bit more than I expected.'
'Oh!' exclaimed Camille,'it is just as I always 'oped it would be. The two central figures of our story brought together at last! Finally there will be a duel!'
'Ermmmm, hang on!' said Captain Bill.
'No!' continued Camille,'the moment 'as arrived. Evil must be defeated and 'ere is the opportunity. Before you stands the pirate capitaine armed to the teeth with a.....with a?'
'Bit of rope,' suggested Captain Bill.
'Ow ironic!' replied Camille.
'I was just trying to grab hold of something,' explained Flossie.
'Still it is a dangerous weapon,' said Camille. 'So see 'ere before you the pirate capitaine armed with a bit of rope. You must fight 'im to the death or at least a pretty severe bruising.'
'Well obviously I would,' said Captain Bill,'but I'm unarmed....not my fault....just one of those things.'
' 'Ang on!' mooed Camille and she rummaged through her handbag. 'There,' she said,'take this. Revenge yourself and defend ma 'onour!'
'With a lipstick?' said Captain Bill.
'Well what were you expecting?' asked Camille. 'You think I travel around with an epee in ma 'andbag? Anyway it's a new one so it's still quite pointy.'
'Best not run with it,' suggested Flossie.
'Very sensible!' agreed Camille.
Captain Bill looked from the lipstick to Camille to Flossie.
'Oh, hang it!' he said.
Then he closed his eyes and lunged forward.
'Take that!' he cried,'And that and that and that!'
'NOT AT ME YOU FOOL!' screamed Camille.
'Sorry!' replied Captain Bill and he turned towards Flossie.
But at that very moment....a ripple of cannon fire rang noisily through the air.