'Which,' said Captain Bill, 'was when it struck me. We've all been so busy with travelling and things, none of us have had time to buy any Christmas presents!'
'Wine,' replied Cyril without looking up.
'Hmm?' said Captain Bill.
'I'm giving everybody wine, it's an '83, I've been holding it back.'
'Oh right!' said Captain Bill. 'Well that's OK for you but what about the rest of us?'
'The hat boxes,' said Cyril as he wrote another card.
'Hat boxes?'
'The girls got all their presents when we were with Camille. They smuggled them back in the hat boxes.'
'Oh!' said Captain Bill. 'Perhaps I should speak to Horace then. Maybe we could do something between us?'
'He's written poems for everyone,' said Cyril. 'He's been working on them all year.'
Captain Bill thought about this for a bit.
'So it's just me then? Who hasn't got anything?'
'Mmm,' said Cyril, 'by the way, your Christmas card, would you like me to put 'Dear Eyepatch' or 'Captain Bile'? Captain Bile sounds a bit more respectful.'
And without waiting for an answer Cyril wrote 'Dear Eyepatch'.'
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