Sunday, 6 February 2011
The romance of romance
'Perhaps,' suggested Captain Bill, 'if we could just move in a little?'
'But I like it close to the edge,' said Horace, 'it makes me feel alive.'
'I'm sure it does,' replied Captain Bill, 'it's just I'm afraid that if I fall off I'll end up feeling dead....which I'd rather like to avoid.'
'But it's perfectly safe,' said Horace.
And he jumped up and down a few times.
'Please don't do that!' said Captain Bill. 'After all we wouldn't want you to come to any harm, not with only a week to go.'
'That's what I wanted to talk to you about,' said Horace.
'I thought it might be,' replied Captain Bill.
Horace sighed and looked out across the sea.
'I....I was wondering if you had any advice?'
'ME?' mooed Captain Bill.
'Well you are my Captain,' said Horace.
'Yes,' replied Captain Bill, '....erm.....well....erm, I suppose it's a bit like....a bit like being at sea...because....well....erm.....well imagine that....no maybe not....well if Norma was......no hang on....what are those things that make the ship go faster?'
'That's them! The sails...the sails of love...imagine that the sails of love are being blown by the wind of hope and that for a long time you've been in the doldrums, but now, thanks to us, you've got wind...a lot of wind...'
'This isn't helping,' said Horace.
'I'll shut up then,' said Captain Bill.
And he did...and everyone felt much happier.