When a Valentine isn't...

'Sooooooooo......how are you?'

'Fine,' replied Norma.

'Excellent!' said Captain Bill. 'Excellent...........excellent.'

'So if you don't mind me asking.....why are we here?'

'Well,' replied Captain Bill, 'to be honest.....I suppose I'm not.'

'Really?' said Norma.

'Yes,' said Captain Bill.

'.......So where are you?'

'Ermmmmmm, well I'm not really anywhere else either.'

'Hmm,' said Norma, 'would it be terribly amiss of me to say I'm not sure what's going on?'

'Oh, I'm way ahead of you there,' replied Captain Bill.

'Right.'

'The point is,' continued Captain Bill, 'I'm just keeping a seat warm.'

'There aren't any seats,' said Norma.

'A patch of grass then,' replied Captain Bill, 'a patch of grass that will hopefully soon be occupied by another.'

'And will they have a better idea about what's going on?' asked Norma.

'Oh, I doubt it,' said Captain Bill.