Who's going to tell her?

'So I thought,' puffed Captain Bill.

'Well you thought wrong then,' replied Bertha.

'But,' gasped Captain Bill, '...actually could we just stop a second?'

Bertha slowed down a tiny bit.

'After all, you are her friend,' said Captain Bill.

'And you're her Captain,' replied Bertha.

'Indeed,' agreed Captain Bill, 'and if it were something Captainy...but we both know this isn't.'

'So?' asked Bertha.

'Well just drop a general hint,' continued Captain Bill, 'just make sure she leaves the day free, there's no need to go into detail.'

Bertha stopped at the top of the rise.

'And the table and all the arrangements?'

'I'll lend a hoof,' replied Captain Bill, 'get it done in half the time.'

'Hmm,' said Bertha.

'Brilliant!' said Captain Bill. 'You know it makes sense! But remember, only tell her the bare minimum.'

'That,' replied Bertha, 'is easier said than done. Norma may look all sweetness and light but if she suspects something is going on....she has this uncanny ability to get more out of you than you were intending.'