Monday, 21 March 2011
Other directions are available
'And so,' continued Captain Bill, 'by attaching the seaweed to the knitted compass I've created a sort of ultra modern, high tec, navigational multi tool!'
Lovely,' said Norma.
'It's genius,' replied Captain Bill, 'I simply don't see how it could be improved upon.'
'Not unless you draped it over the telescope,' suggested Norma.
'Well if you hung it over your telescope it would be even more multipuly.'
'...................So anyway,' mooed Captain Bill, 'what did you want?'
'Geraldine would like us to turn to port,' said Norma.
Captain Bill swivelled around and stared out across the side of the ship.
'No, port,' said Norma.
Captain Bill swivelled around and stared out across the other side of the ship.
'Hmm,' he said.
'So it'll mean we won't be going Not North for a while,' added Norma.
'Hmmmmm,' said Captain Bill, 'not sure about that. The rules are pretty clear and don't forget there's the question of my authority. It wouldn't look good to have the crew questioning that. Once my authority starts to slide then the whole dignity of the position that I occupy would be diminished and respect and dignity are vital when you're on the high seas.'
Norma gave his chair a gentle push and Captain Bill rolled slowly over the deck, hit a coil of rope and toppled over.
'Thank you!' called out Captain Bill.
'Anytime,' replied Norma.