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A parcel of love


'No,' said Captain Bill, 'I've not seen him.'

'Humpf!' mooed Bertha. 'When I catch him!'

'He's probably laying low,' replied Captain Bill, 'well as low as he can get...which would still make him unhealthily large.'

'The book's completely ruined,' added Bertha.

'Surprised he left any of it,' replied Captain Bill, 'still that's the sort of thing that happens when you get someone who's insensitive to the feelings of others. Now what do you think of that?'

And he held up something.

'What is it?' asked Bertha.

'It's a parcel,' replied Captain Bill, 'I'm sending it to Camille, I wrapped it myself.'

'Well full marks for taking responsibility,' replied Bertha.

'Only she sent me a sort of card thing,' said Captain Bill, 'for Valentine's day.'

'Right,' said Bertha, 'and you're trying to discourage her from sending anything else?'

'Errr?' said Captain Bill.

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