Waiter!

'Psst!' said Norma.

'What?' said Captain Bill.

'I just thought you'd like to know,' said Norma, 'Bertha and I think you're doing a grand job.'

'Wonderful!' exclaimed Captain Bill, 'a real comfort!'

'I don't think there's any need for that tone,' mooed Bertha.

'And Geraldine's just won Most Orange Feet,' added Norma.

'Fine!' said Captain Bill.

'Look!' said Norma. 'I did try to warn you about this. I said you were making a rod for your own back.'

'Well I thought if I just served that first one,' replied Captain Bill.

'But now they're all convinced you're a waiter,' said Norma.

'Did you mention table 3?' asked Bertha.

'Oh no!' replied Norma, 'and table 3 need more nibbles.'

'Well they'll have to wait!' hissed Captain Bill.

'Bit rude!' replied Norma, 'by the way, Bertha and I were wondering....any tips?'

'Yes,' replied Captain Bill, 'try not to spill sardine juice down the front of your dinner jacket!'