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'I'm just asking you not to,' said Horace.

'Believe me,' replied Captain Bill, 'I don't want to be serving anybody at all.'

'Well, I'm not really bothered about the others,' said Horace, '....just Norma.'

'I'll try to avoid her,' replied Captain Bill, 'given how busy I am it shouldn't be difficult.'

'Thank you,' said Horace.

'And in return,' said Captain Bill, '3 bottles of house white and 4 glasses to table 17.'

'Sorry?' replied Horace.

'Won't take you 2 minutes,' said Captain Bill.

'But I'm a poet!' said Horace.

'Fine!' replied Captain Bill. 'you can recite something as you go if you want, doesn't bother me...probably won't bother them either....and there's a selection of nibbles to go to table 12...but no anchovies.'

'Anchovies?' mooed Horace.

'One of them has some sort of allergy,' replied Captain Bill, 'so just use a whitebait and krill mix with lots of sea salt.'

'But!' said Horace.

'Sorry,' replied Captain Bill, 'can't stop, got to go,' and he herded away at speed.

'Order for the top table,' he called out as he went.

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