Friday, 27 May 2011
Know your Pirates
'And so,' explained Norma, 'thanks to Annie's contact in the security industry...'
At this point Annie herded across to Captain Bill and whispered at him.
'That's Mr Norman, he is an elephant you know.'
Before turning and stampeding back to her position by a large notice board.
'...who shall remain nameless...sort of,' continued Norma, 'we now have access to the latest advanced database of pirate sheep captains at large upon the high seas.'
Captain Bill nervously opened his eye and looked at the pictures on the board.
'Rough lot,' he remarked.
'We could have them!' said Bertha.
'Now if you'll pay attention,' said Norma, 'from top left, Harry the Fleece, known grass stealer, has form for wandering off. Next, Little Eyepatch Sam, currently the only female pirate, how does she keep that fleece so curly? Then Flossie, more of him later. Then Tom...he doesn't seem to have a nickname and is currently thought not to be a threat as he was last seen with his head stuck in a hedge and finally just a picture of another sheep because we thought the board could do with it.'
'Well you can't fault the research,' said Captain Bill.
'Indeed,' agreed Bertha.
'Thank you,' replied Norma, 'so in our opinion...it's...'
And here Annie used her her pointy stick to give a little drum roll.
'Flossie!' mooed Norma, 'he fits the bill, lots of eye patches, big flock, recently been recruiting etc, etc.'
'Let me at 'im!' screamed Bertha.
'Erm..,' said Captain Bill, 'well.....no need to hurry.'
But Bertha was already heading towards to docks.