Thursday, 19 July 2012
How to do Royal type waiting
'So let me assure you that after a rather unexpected pause we're now completely back on the case,' said Norma.
'Well, One should bloomin' well 'ope so!' replied Queen Phoebe. 'One isn't at all 'appy, let me tell you!'
'We are very sorry,' continued Norma.
'It's not so much the hiding in the woods that hurts,' replied Queen Phoebe, 'but One hasn't had a good knees up for what seems like forever!'
'It must be difficult,' agreed Norma.
'It is!' moaned Queen Phoebe, 'and of course One misses One's hubbie, he's lovely, everybody says so, even the ones what isn't paid to!'
'I do hope you've still been able to see him?' asked Norma.
'Briefly,' replied Queen Phoebe, 'it was 'im what made my little substitute crown. Made it with his own hands he did and a royal personage isn't used to that sort of thing.'
'It's lovely,' said Norma.
'It is!' agreed Queen Phoebe. 'Only, between me and you, it's not convincing! If the press get a telephoto of me in this they'll tuck One up like a kipper and no mistake!'
'Well I'm sure we'll have the real crown back in next to no time,' said Norma, 'I'm even going straight from here to attend a top level meeting.'
'I suppose that's something,' replied Queen Phoebe. 'It's just One gets so lonely sitting here all day.'
'I could send someone across to sit with you?' suggested Norma.
'NOT THE POET!' screamed Queen Phoebe. 'Sorry, bit shouty!'
'He does mean well,' said Norma.
'Possibly,' said Queen Phoebe, 'but...'
'I understand,' replied Norma.
So Norma went to find someone else and Queen Phoebe passed the afternoon talking to a snail.