What I did in my holidays

'And then I stood over there and then I walked over there and then I walked over there and then I walked over there and then I...'


'Sorry,' interrupted Norma, 'my fault! When I said it might be nice if you told people about what you did during the last year I didn't mean that you needed to tell them everything.'


Annie herded very close to Norma.


Are you sure?' she asked. 'I fear you may be underestimating my fan base.'


'Still,' replied Norma, 'I suspect they could manage with an edited version.'


'But I haven't told them yet about the three months I spent married to a tree!'


'Also,' continued Norma, 'and here I realise that I may be asking you to take a step too far, I thought it could be interesting if you might restrict yourself to telling people just about the things that really took place rather than including the things that only happened inside your head?'


Annie stared blankly back at Norma...for four hours.


'Oh, all right!' conceded Norma, 'AND the things that only took place inside your head.'


'And then me and Mr Sir Count Sir Cyril of Roastdinnershire stole an entire kitchen!'


'Actually that really did happen,' said Norma.


'Did it?' replied Annie, 'I had wondered.'


'If you had any idea how much effort it took to smooth that out,' continued Norma, 'and I confess I'm still puzzled as to how the two of you got three fridges, two cookers, the entire floor and a wall as far as the Pickled Heifer before anyone noticed?'


'Perhaps the sun was in their eyes?' said Annie.


'Perhaps!' replied Norma 'And I do wish you'd occasionally question the things that Cyril asks you to do.'


'He told me we'd won it in a raffle.'


'But you don't have to believe him!' said Norma.


Annie ran around Norma several times and then fell over and waggled her legs in the air.


'I don't have to,' she agreed, 'but it makes life seem so much more interesting if I do!'


And with that Norma suggested that they go and look for Horace and Bertha. So that's what they did.