Splatification made easy

'Huge twenty ton block of granite in place?'

'Check!' mooed Norma.

'Wonky horned bovine in place?'

'Check!' mooed Norma.

'Penguin clutching a wall?'

'Check!'

'Wind speed below 5mph?'

'Check!'

Ridiculousituationometer?'

'Off the scale!' agreed Norma.

'Ready to go then!' said Bertha.

'Just waiting for Cyril?' said Norma.

'Indeed!' replied Bertha.

'What's he doing now?' asked Norma.

'He's just fed Annie the last of the final trifle,' replied Bertha. 'Now he's licking the spoon...correction he's eaten the spoon!'

'Wouldn't have expected anything else,' said Norma.

'And now......aw! He does give a good hug when he wants to!' 

'He's just a big softy really,' added Norma.

'He's clear!' said Bertha. 'We're green to go!'

Norma and Bertha paused.

'Are we really going to do this?' asked Norma.

'I think we must,' replied Bertha.

And so Bertha signalled to Horace and Horace signalled to Cyril and Cyril ignored Horace for a while just to annoy him but then finally, quietly, carefully bit through the safety rope...and the twenty ton block of granite fell towards Annie.